Professor, talking about his eight-year-old son: Don't invest in anything that eats.
Rutgers University
New Jersey
Professor, talking about his eight-year-old son: Don't invest in anything that eats.
Rutgers University
New Jersey
British male, contemplating the last two teabags left in the chalet: We'd best save one in case of an emergency.
Orelle
France
Professor: Please write legibly. If I had wanted to go blind, I would have masturbated to excess as a child.
University of Massachusetts
Amherst, Massachusetts
Boarding attendant at gate: At this time, you may put away your photo IDs… Unless, of course, you are exceptionally attractive. In that case, my name is Jason, I’m a Virgo, and I enjoy long walks on the beach.
Detroit Metro Airport
Michigan
Overheard by: orange
Guy on cell: It’s easy — just grab the dick in one hand and a beer in the other!
Carmen’s Bodega
Alingsås
Sweden
Overheard by: rymden
Professor: I advise you all to make love, at least once, outside in the rain. It's the best feeling in the world.
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Mackenzie
Male student #1: Man, you can't get pregnant doing that.
Male student #2: Oh.
Monash University
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Assilem
Geek to friend: You need to get her something she can use in bed… Like a puppet.
Gen Con Indy
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Matt
Frat boy: Hypothetically speaking, if you were on your period, would you invite a guy to go home with you? Like, if it was your third day and you weren’t having a very heavy flow?
Sorority girl: Justin, this doesn’t sound very hypothetical.
University of Iowa Library
Iowa City, Iowa
Bearded man, teaching math: …which is gonna give you nine over nine over four, which is horribly ugly. Does that terrify you greatly? It should.
UW Rock County
Janesville, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Akuaku
