Tourist to another: Ummm, we’re on Hew-stin. How do we get to–
Passerby: –Dude, it’s pronounced How-ston, not ‘Hew-stin.’ You better say it right, or someone else who’s not as nice as me will beat you up.
–Houston & Broadway
Tourist to another: Ummm, we’re on Hew-stin. How do we get to–
Passerby: –Dude, it’s pronounced How-ston, not ‘Hew-stin.’ You better say it right, or someone else who’s not as nice as me will beat you up.
–Houston & Broadway
Man #1: You can’t hesitate with that shit, man. You gotta bang and be out.
Man #2: Yo, you gotta bang and blow.
–111th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: M.G.
Man helping woman carry stroller down stairs: If you had taken the bloody pill when you said you were taking it, we wouldn't be in this mess in the first place.
–Broadway-Lafayette B/D/F/V Station
Overheard by: Jon A.
Man walking with girlfriend, loudly: Wait, did you bring your diaphragm?
–Times Square
Loud woman on cell: How many times do you have to have sex, and have a baby, before you realize: "If I have sex without a condom I will get someone pregnant."? Seriously!
–Broadway & 103rd St
Overheard by: Amy
Guy on phone: I always tell people that sex with you with a condom is better than sex with other girls without a condom.
–Outside Trader Joe's, 14th St
Zoo guide: This zoo likes to be careful with breeding animals by taking into account genes and the like. But then again, Zippy–the baby snow monkey–came along. So be careful with your birth control.
–Central Park Zoo, by the Snow Monkeys
Girl to another: I just don't see why we can't make our own condoms.
–14th St & 4th Ave
Woman on phone: Um, like, there are no one-legged dancers. But there are deaf dancers! You could be one!
–66th & Broadway
Non-puking girl (holding hair of other girl): Are you done yet?
Puking girl: I think so.
Non-puking girl: We should probably get some gum before we go up to those guys' apartment.
–34th & Park Ave
Dad: It just seems silly. Why risk a lot for a little?
Teen son: It’s not a little, it’s my life!
–14th & 6th
Hispanic boy #1, taking picture of two others: Yo, stand still. Try not to laugh! Think of dead puppies or dead babies or somethin’.
Hispanic boy #2: But that will make me laugh!
–Lehman College cafeteria
Overheard by: Angelica Cayne
[Plane lands, bounces 20 feet into the air, finally slams back to earth, knocking all the oxygen masks out.]Flight Attendant: Thank you for choosing American Airlines, ladies and gentlemen, obviously we have have landed…
–LaGuardia Airport
Overheard by: M. Smith/Terrified Passenger
Flight Attendant: Chicken or beef? Chicken or beef? … Don’t think about it too long honey, they taste like cardboard.
–United Flight
Flight Attendant: We have two lavatories in the back of the plane and one in the front. Please use them.
–LaGuardia Airport
Pilot: Remember, there are 50 ways to leave your lover, but only 8 ways out of this aircraft.
–JFK Runway
Overheard by: cms
Pilot, after an unusually smooth landing: God damn, that landin’ was butta!
–Jet Blue JFK
Bimbette, about sleeping bag lady: She has a lot of stuff.
Boyfriend: Yeah.
Bimbette: She should get an apartment.
–25th & 3rd
Drunk guy #1: Yo, how funny was that when I told him, ‘Dude, just stick your balls in her mouth’? Remember that?
Drunk guy #2: Ewww, man, his balls are disgusting!
–LIRR
Overheard by: mrbojangles
