Chick #1: Do you think I should have another Texas-sized margarita?
Chick #2: I think your eyes are bigger than your liver.
–Dallas BBQ, 166th & Broadway
Overheard by: djlindee
Chick #1: Do you think I should have another Texas-sized margarita?
Chick #2: I think your eyes are bigger than your liver.
–Dallas BBQ, 166th & Broadway
Overheard by: djlindee
Crazy lady: Excuse me. Listen, you got some of that witchcraft put on you.
Old lady: Uh huh, yeah.
Crazy lady: You gotta get that lifted, or those spirits, you know, they be comin’ at you, they be on you.
Old lady: Yes.
Crazy lady: All right, take care.
–M86 bus
Woman #1: See that guy in the wheelchair? I think he’s starting to get involved with dealing drugs or something.
Woman #2: Well, I wouldn’t hang around him too much anyway if I were
you. Clearly he couldn’t run away fast enough the first time…
–Fort Greene
Girl #1: …and I told him, he was going over there all the time and letting the dog lick in the face and kiss him.
Girl #2: And now he gots herpes of the mouth and shit.
–Bushwick
Overheard by: Spider
Black man: What is that, a raincoat? You should hang onto that. You never know when it might come back into style.
–M15 bus
Overheard by: Palaverist
Driver: Step allll the way in the back please! All the way in the back! There’s some cheese and crackers there.
–M42 bus
Overheard by: Vas Sloutchevsky
Puerto Rican chick: That mothafucka’s crazy. I ain’t puttin’ that in my butt.
–B46 bus
Overheard by: Jennifer Hess
Queer #1: Honey, my vagina is itchy.
Queer #2: So scratch it.
–16th & 8th
Overheard by: Winnie
Old black guy #1: You got to take care of your lady.
Old black guy #2: Uh huh.
Old black guy #1: Every now and then you got to let her do her nails, do her hair and wash her ass…
Old black guy #2: Uh huh!
–Avenue A between 1st and 2nd Street
Lesbian: Oh my god! And then all you’d have to do is puke on her and we’d all be even!
–Ginger’s Bar, Park Slope
Guy: Man, don’t worry about kicking that guy’s ass. Like Jesus said, “Turn the motherfucking cheek”, you know?
–Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: PB
Stalkee: …so then out of the blue I get an email that’s like, “Remember me? I broke up with your neighbor like 6 months ago. Wanna get together?”
–Mugs Ale House, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Scalper: Rangers tickets! New York Rangers tickets for sale!
–41st & 7th
Chick: I got a washing machine at home but it don’t fit. I got too many clothes.
Guy: Ain’t you never heard of loads?
Chick: What you mean?
Guy: Doing it once at a time.
Chick: Shoot, I be doing clothes forever if I do that shit.
–Herald Square
Overheard by: Trish
Guy #1: So you like that girl?
Guy #2: Yeah, so far.
Guy #1: Well, don’t get married. Unless you wanna have kids; that’s the only reason to get married.
Guy #2: You married?
Guy #1: Yeah.
Guy #2: You have kids?
Guy #1: Yeah, thank god.
–55th Street between 1st & 2nd Ave.
Overheard by: Brandy Rowell
