Middle-aged man: Clint Eastwood dressed up like a woman?
Middle-aged woman: Well, he wore a poncho…
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Mupa-san
Middle-aged man: Clint Eastwood dressed up like a woman?
Middle-aged woman: Well, he wore a poncho…
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Mupa-san
Chick: She’s a little angry right now.
Guy: Who, my mom or your cooch?
–4 train
Overheard by: Rachie
Wife: Well, we need to hurry. They’re waiting downstairs.
Husband: Well, I was ready to go ages ago. I’m hot, tired, and my rash is spreading.
–Macy’s
Overheard by: Becca
Girlfriend: Wait, I don’t get it.
Boyfriend: Awww, honey, you’re so adorable when you have no idea what’s going on.
Girlfriend: … Faggot!
–Waverly Pl & University
Girlfriend: I was so sick yesterday until I finally went to the doctor.
Boyfriend: Oh, no! What was wrong?
Girlfriend: Well, um, you’ll find out anyway… I had a UTI. I mean, it’s not an STD, but you can get it from sex…
Boyfriend: But we haven’t been doing it that much!
–1 train
Girl cooing at boyfriend: You know, I just wanted a mature guy — they’re so rare! And you’re very mature in your outlook.
Boyfriend: I am mature. I’m glad you see th– Oh, look — Playboy Enterprises!
–5th Ave
Punk girl: The two of you seemed to get along at the party.
Mechanic guy: Yeah, he’s cool. We should hang out more.
Punk girl: You’re kidding, right? You’re so not getting all BFF with my husband.
Mechanic guy: Why not? Because we’re fucking? He has no idea.
Punk girl: My husband and my side fuck can not be friends. It just doesn’t work.
–W train
Overheard by: green with envy
Husband: We’ll go to the museum around four.
Wife: I don’t know…
Husband: Come on, Marge. You love everyone at the museum. Except Yasser Arafat.
–Hampton Inn
Overheard by: Leah
20-ish female tourist: My feet are killing me. I shouldn’t have worn heels.
20-ish boyfriend: Heels aren’t that bad. I wore them and a dress for a play in eighth grade.
20-ish female tourist: My dad loves dressing up as a woman.
–C train, Port Authority
Girlfriend: I don’t know what’s wrong with me lately. I just keep falling asleep at the oddest times. I think I may be suffering from necrophilia.
Boyfriend: I sure hope you mean narcolepsy.
Girlfriend: Oh, yeah. I always get those confused.
Boyfriend: Well, as long as it’s only the definitions that you confuse and not the symptoms…
–Grand Central
