That He Might Be Pregnant?

Woman: Well, I’ll tell you one thing — if you ever show up late again, I will have to refer to you as my late husband.
Man: Uh, you do know what that connotates?
Woman: Yep.

–Q train

Posted on March 11, 2008
Couples, Default, Gripes, On the Subway, Threats, Time, Words

I Shall Enforce This Decree by the Power of My Pussy

Angry girlfriend: I don’t want you to challenge me on anything!
Boyfriend: [Silence.]Angry girlfriend: I don’t want you to tell me I’m wrong!
Boyfriend: [Silence.]Angry girlfriend: If you’re not going to tell me I’m correct, just don’t talk anymore.

–F train

Overheard by: Colleen

Posted on February 25, 2008
Anger Management, Assholes, Couples, Default, On the Subway

And That Eliminates the Need for a Dark Corner?

Boyfriend, under his breath: I really need to find a dark corner.
Girlfriend, loudly: You could just pee in my mouth!

–10th & Broadway

Posted on February 17, 2008
Couples, Default, Kink, Offers and requests, Pee, The Village

Maybe the Wizard Will Give Me Some Balls So I Never Have to Come Back

Wife: Okay, so he said a right, and then a left at flatware…
Husband: And then follow the yellow brick road?

–Bed, Bath & Beyond, Chelsea

Overheard by: jackattack

Posted on February 14, 2008
Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Couples, Directions

And That’s All I’m Authorized to Take into Account

Lady: Pay attention! My legs don’t stop there.
Hubby: But yo’ pants do.

–E 12th & Ave A

Overheard by: Bases McGee

Posted on February 10, 2008
Body Parts, Couples, Union Square and East Village

Been Eye-Fucking for Years, Babe

Upset girlfriend, hitting boyfriend: Look at you! There you go again!
Boyfriend, caught looking: What?! She was looking at me.
Girlfriend: How you know? How you know?!

–Court Square

Overheard by: Running Late

Posted on February 7, 2008
Couples, Gripes, Infidelity, Queens

The UN Delegates from North and South Korea Are at It Again

Woman: I mean, chicken nuggets go straight to your ass.
Man: At least my tits don’t sag.

–42nd & 8th

Posted on January 31, 2008
Ass, Couples, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Rack

New York’s Most Critical Couple Savages Another Musical Event

Woman, about Hairspray: Harold, except for the finale number, I thought it wasn’t anything special. All the screaming and the jumping and the music…
Man: You’re right, Doris.
Woman: You know what was the golden era of the Broadway? The really good shows, Harold?
Man: What were they, Doris?
Woman: The Cats, The Les Mis, The Phantoms… That was the zenith, Harold. This one — I don’t know what it is.
Man: Me neither, Doris. Me neither.

–52nd St

Overheard by: izzy