Eavesdrop DC

Man to friends: I think I'm finally gonna quit my job and write the sitcom I've always wanted to, about the sassy robot.


Overheard by: Ian

Man to buddy: She’s the one who introduced me to the lesbian that beat me up after sex.

Adams Morgan, DC

Stoned girl on other side of the curtain: I ate a stress ball.
Nurse: Okay… Was it a foam ball? Gel? Did you just take a bite?
Stoned girl, laughing: I ate a stress ball!
Doctor, entering a few minutes later: Now, this makes me uncomfortable.
Stoned girl: The nurse told me to take off my pants.
Doctor: Are you sure? Why don’t you put them back on for the CAT scan…
Stoned girl, still laughing: I ate a stress ball.


Professor: I love talking about this stuff. I could go on forever. And I’m tenured, so if you have a problem with that you’ll just have to deal.


Chick #1: Girl, get off me. You know I don’t like hookers.
Chick #2: Yeah, well, I don’t like Chinese people.
Chick #1: Do I look Chinese to you?
Chick #2: I was just letting you know.


Frat boy to another: Dude… Just because you can get with one of them doesn't mean you can automatically have a twin threesome.


Overheard by: Ian

Suit to friend: Coffee is like beer for the morning.


Overheard by: Ian

Middle-aged woman on cell: Unless he doubles my salary, I'm not sleeping with him.


Overheard by:

Woman #1: I love TGI Friday's, but if I could pick any local place to go for dinner tonight, I would pick Olive Garden.
Woman #2: Oooh, good pick! What about Macaroni Grill?
Woman #1: I love Macaroni Grill! But isn't it a little fancy for tonight?
Woman #2: No, we can go change.
Woman #1: Are you sure you're okay with driving in this city?
Woman #2: Sure, it is okay.
Woman #1: Maybe we should pray before we leave… you know, just in case.
Woman #2: Great idea.


Overheard by: Jon

Girl to female friend: Yes, if I get the job at the CDC I will celebrate your chlamydia as an inspirational story.


Overheard by: Ian