Who Says Teachers Don’t Make a Difference?

Middle-aged black lady: Those are some nice pants.
Latino dude: Yeah, I’m buying it for Jack’s* wedding tomorrow.
Middle-aged black lady: Didn’t he just get out of high school?
Latino dude: Well, he’s 22 now. He’s marrying his old Health teacher. She’s 28.
Middle-aged black lady: He… He was her student?
Latino dude: Yeah! The first day of class she kicked him out because he was being an asshole. He was like, ‘Suck this dick and lick these balls, biotch!’
Middle-aged black lady: Well, I guess she took his advice.
Latino dude: Yeah. Life’s funny like that…

–JCPenny

Overheard by: Everyone else gets the cool teacher

Posted on November 5, 2007
Friends, Rumor Has It, Store

Judging from the Hammer and Sickle She Drew in My Mashed Potatoes

Middle-aged woman #1: Our waitress is so nice.
Middle-aged woman #2: A bit stern, though — very serious.
Middle-aged Jewish man: Must be from the Soviet Union.

–Diner, Queens

Posted on November 1, 2007
Friends, Queens, Rumor Has It

As That Fortune Cookie Explained

Girl: She’s a lesbian…
Guy: Lesbians love strap-ons.
Girl: I thought the point of being a lesbian is that you’re not into… that…
Guy: Well, there’s only so much you can do with two vaginas.

–Penn Station

Posted on October 30, 2007
Friends, Penn Station, Sexuality

Just Because I Shit Myself During Group

Crunchy-haired woman: She used to make peanut butter and jelly with cheese… PB and J with American cheese.
Tattoo guy: Ew, that is so messed up.
Crunchy-haired woman: Yeah, but anyways, I really got into it with this lady at my support group today. She said somethin’ I didn’t like.
Tattoo guy: What happened this time?
Crunchy-haired woman: It was about the cherry issue… She was gettin’ on my case because I ate some fuckin’ cherries. I’m like, ‘What the fuck? What’s the big deal? I have a thing for cherries and so what that I can’t have just one, I have to have a whole bag?’ Fuck, I ate a fucking bag of cherries, big deal. So she was getting on me, saying I was one of those people who doesn’t try to get better…

–Brooklyn

Posted on October 28, 2007
Brooklyn, Food, Friends

What’s Bad Is That You Don’t Know

Guy: Do you think it’s… bad… that I think I’m going out… with him?
Gal friends, unconvincingly: No, no…

–H&M, Chelsea

Posted on October 26, 2007
Friends, Relationships, Store

Outside of That Suicide Note Written in Blood on a V-Neck

Ambitious girl: I think I’m going to sign up for a watercolor class.
Jaded guy friend: That’s the most emo thing I’ve ever heard from someone who used to work at the Gap.

–14th & 6th

Overheard by: EmLo

Posted on October 25, 2007
Arts & Letters, Friends, West Village

It’s Only Cocaine for the Rest of the Night, I Promise

Girl in stall #1: I am sooo wasted.
Girl in stall #2: I am so disappointed.
Girl in stall #1: In the show? I know, but they are so tired from being on tour, and it’s the third night–
Girl in stall #2: –No, not that.
Girl in stall #1: Oh. Then why?
Girl in stall #2: Um…
Girl in stall #1: Because I’m drunk?
Girl in stall #2: Yeah.
Girl in stall #1: Oh.

–Bowery Ballroom

Overheard by: Foxy