Lady: Yeah! And then you know what?
Guy: What?
Lady: He opened it and it was a trunk full of Ramen!
Older woman: Oh!
–Mercedes-Benz Manhattan
Overheard by: gaby
Lady: Yeah! And then you know what?
Guy: What?
Lady: He opened it and it was a trunk full of Ramen!
Older woman: Oh!
–Mercedes-Benz Manhattan
Overheard by: gaby
Girl: It’s like, ‘Awww, you must really like me! You want to lick my ass!’
Guy: Yeah, I’m the Sally Field of analingus.
–14th & 6th
Overheard by: Super Mel
Hot chick: Ohhh, shit! They sell Choco Tacos!
Asian dude: I want to eat a Choco Taco pussy.
Hot chick: Hahaha! Me, too!
–Blockbuster, Houston & Suffolk
Overheard by: Incredible Hulk
Girl in stall: God, it’s so hot in here!
Girl waiting: I’m going to the men’s room.
Girl in stall: Why?
Girl waiting: So I don’t have to wait. [Leaves, then comes back a minute later.] There was someone in there, so I left. I didn’t want it to be awkward.
Girl in stall: Why would it be awkward for you?
Girl waiting: Not for me, for him.
–Ladies’ room, Maxie’s, Times Square
Girl: Yeah, so me and Ronnie broke it off.
Guy: Really? Why?
Girl: Well, remember that girl, Nene? Yeah, she was like 14 or something, and he was fucking her.
Guy: And how old is he?
Girl: Twenty-one. You know what? I’m just done dating child molesters — been there, done that.
–R train, 57th St
Girl: What was with that shower?
Guy: What do you mean? When she was killed?
Girl: Yeah… It really freaked me out.
Guy: Why’s that?
Girl: Well… She got killed, duh… I mean, who showers alone?!
–Movie theater
Girl: It’s not that I’m such a slut–
Guy, interrupting: –But I would be happy for you if you were.
Girl: You’d be happy for me if I were a slut?
Guy: Yes.
Girl: Me, too.
–27th & 3rd
Guy #1: I haven’t seen you in a while. What have you been up to?
Guy #2: Well, I’m in the process of switching web hosts, and it’s going to be saving me a few bucks a month. I just need to decide what Linux distribution to use. What about you?
Guy #1: I got married and we had a baby.
Guy #2: That’s cool.
–Office, Midtown
Dude: So, did you go out with that guy last night?
Chick: Yeah, he was nice. I mean, he had scabies, but he was really nice.
–A train
Overheard by: erin
Middle-aged black lady: Those are some nice pants.
Latino dude: Yeah, I’m buying it for Jack’s* wedding tomorrow.
Middle-aged black lady: Didn’t he just get out of high school?
Latino dude: Well, he’s 22 now. He’s marrying his old Health teacher. She’s 28.
Middle-aged black lady: He… He was her student?
Latino dude: Yeah! The first day of class she kicked him out because he was being an asshole. He was like, ‘Suck this dick and lick these balls, biotch!’
Middle-aged black lady: Well, I guess she took his advice.
Latino dude: Yeah. Life’s funny like that…
–JCPenny
Overheard by: Everyone else gets the cool teacher
