Girl: It’s not that I’m such a slut–
Guy, interrupting: –But I would be happy for you if you were.
Girl: You’d be happy for me if I were a slut?
Guy: Yes.
Girl: Me, too.
–27th & 3rd
Girl: It’s not that I’m such a slut–
Guy, interrupting: –But I would be happy for you if you were.
Girl: You’d be happy for me if I were a slut?
Guy: Yes.
Girl: Me, too.
–27th & 3rd
Guy #1: I haven’t seen you in a while. What have you been up to?
Guy #2: Well, I’m in the process of switching web hosts, and it’s going to be saving me a few bucks a month. I just need to decide what Linux distribution to use. What about you?
Guy #1: I got married and we had a baby.
Guy #2: That’s cool.
–Office, Midtown
Dude: So, did you go out with that guy last night?
Chick: Yeah, he was nice. I mean, he had scabies, but he was really nice.
–A train
Overheard by: erin
Middle-aged black lady: Those are some nice pants.
Latino dude: Yeah, I’m buying it for Jack’s* wedding tomorrow.
Middle-aged black lady: Didn’t he just get out of high school?
Latino dude: Well, he’s 22 now. He’s marrying his old Health teacher. She’s 28.
Middle-aged black lady: He… He was her student?
Latino dude: Yeah! The first day of class she kicked him out because he was being an asshole. He was like, ‘Suck this dick and lick these balls, biotch!’
Middle-aged black lady: Well, I guess she took his advice.
Latino dude: Yeah. Life’s funny like that…
–JCPenny
Overheard by: Everyone else gets the cool teacher
Middle-aged woman #1: Our waitress is so nice.
Middle-aged woman #2: A bit stern, though — very serious.
Middle-aged Jewish man: Must be from the Soviet Union.
–Diner, Queens
Girl: She’s a lesbian…
Guy: Lesbians love strap-ons.
Girl: I thought the point of being a lesbian is that you’re not into… that…
Guy: Well, there’s only so much you can do with two vaginas.
–Penn Station
Crunchy-haired woman: She used to make peanut butter and jelly with cheese… PB and J with American cheese.
Tattoo guy: Ew, that is so messed up.
Crunchy-haired woman: Yeah, but anyways, I really got into it with this lady at my support group today. She said somethin’ I didn’t like.
Tattoo guy: What happened this time?
Crunchy-haired woman: It was about the cherry issue… She was gettin’ on my case because I ate some fuckin’ cherries. I’m like, ‘What the fuck? What’s the big deal? I have a thing for cherries and so what that I can’t have just one, I have to have a whole bag?’ Fuck, I ate a fucking bag of cherries, big deal. So she was getting on me, saying I was one of those people who doesn’t try to get better…
–Brooklyn
Guy: Do you think it’s… bad… that I think I’m going out… with him?
Gal friends, unconvincingly: No, no…
–H&M, Chelsea
Ambitious girl: I think I’m going to sign up for a watercolor class.
Jaded guy friend: That’s the most emo thing I’ve ever heard from someone who used to work at the Gap.
–14th & 6th
Overheard by: EmLo
Girl in stall #1: I am sooo wasted.
Girl in stall #2: I am so disappointed.
Girl in stall #1: In the show? I know, but they are so tired from being on tour, and it’s the third night–
Girl in stall #2: –No, not that.
Girl in stall #1: Oh. Then why?
Girl in stall #2: Um…
Girl in stall #1: Because I’m drunk?
Girl in stall #2: Yeah.
Girl in stall #1: Oh.
–Bowery Ballroom
Overheard by: Foxy
