Black girls in SUV: What’s up, my white girls?!
White girls on corner: Wooo!
–Grand Army Plaza
Overheard by: megan
Black girls in SUV: What’s up, my white girls?!
White girls on corner: Wooo!
–Grand Army Plaza
Overheard by: megan
Girl #1: Wait… You’re not a virgin?
Girl #2: Nope. I had sex once. Well, nine times.
–McDonald’s, Times Square
Girl: Do I look fat?
Woman: Yes.
Girl: Why you gotta be mean?
–72nd & Columbus
Chubby chick #1: Oh my god, you know who I look like and who I sound like? I saw like this really, really old CD of Barbara Cook, and she’s so much fatter than me, but we sing exactly alike! [Sings.]Chubby chick #2: I don’t really think I look like anybody. That’s not true — I look like a Gummi Bear.
–Starbucks, 52nd & Lex
Girl #1: I’m so glad we’re finally hanging out!
Girl #2: I’ve been drunk since two o’clock.
–BAM Opera House
Overheard by: It’s 8 o’clock now
College girl #1: So, like, when we were in high school and sharing dressing rooms for drama stuff, were you ever, like, attracted to me?
College girl #2: No.
College girl #1: Oh… [Very put out] Not at all?!
–108th & Broadway
Girl #1: There’s something wrong with my tail bone…
Girl #2: Yeah?
Girl #1: Yeah, actually — there’s a scrape on it.
Girl #2: Um, really?
Girl #1: Yeah, and I really can’t figure out how it happened! I’ve been wearing pants everywhere I go…
–Prospect Park
Giggling girl, being examined by friends: What? What?!
Friend: I don’t even want to tell you what that is in your hair.
Giggling girl, hopeful: Is it semen?
–Morningside Heights
Girl: I’ll have a dozen bagels.
Bagel guy: I can’t pass up on this opportunity. I have to tell you that you’re really cute.
Girl: [Blushes.]Bagel guy: Do you know what the difference between cute and not cute is?
Girl: … Nooo, what?
Bagel guy: Three bagels. [Hands girl 15 bagels.]
–Jumbo Bagels, 57th & 2nd
Overheard by: paid full price
Headline by: Billy Splatts!
Runners-Up:
· “Beauty’s in the Eye Of the Bagelholder” – JoAnne
· “Don’t Ask How I Made the Holes” – Duncan Pflaster
· “Funny, That Also Used to Be a Weight Watchers Slogan” – 2bagelscute
· “It’s Also the Difference Between Employed and Not Employed” – Caro
· “O! She Doth Teach The Toasters To Burn Bright” – Paul
· “That’s Funny Because That’s Also The Difference Between A Handjob And A Blowjob.” – BG
Spanish chick #1: It’s good to take a shit a few hours before sex.
Spanish chick #2: My anus is feces-free. Dig in!
–Taco Bell, 60th & Northern Blvd
Overheard by: Mariela
