Girl #1: Who is he, again?
Girl #2, screaming: John Norris! He’s old, gap in his teeth, MTV News guy… [Turns and sees he’s been standing right next to her.] Oh! Well, hello there!
–New York Sports Club
Overheard by: anonny
Girl #1: Who is he, again?
Girl #2, screaming: John Norris! He’s old, gap in his teeth, MTV News guy… [Turns and sees he’s been standing right next to her.] Oh! Well, hello there!
–New York Sports Club
Overheard by: anonny
Girl to friend: I mean, guys just don’t understand how much hotter they are when they can dance. I’d totally date a guy who can dance with me.
Random queer: Me, too!
–Q train
Girl #1 after crossing street during “Don’t Walk” sign: Oooh, I’m like a New York City resident!
Girl #2: Why? Because you walked into oncoming traffic?
Girl #1: That’s what they do!
–8th & Broadway
Chick #1: I can’t believe he left me three cans of peas. Like that is going to fix anything.
Chick #2: Were they your favorite peas?
Chick #1: I mean, I like LeSeur Peas and all, but not enough to make me forget my husband was fucking another woman.
–Park Slope
Girl #1: It’s good I don’t go to a school with fraternities. I’d, like–
Girl #2: –Get drunk and raped?
Girl #1: Exactly!
–Sarah Lawrence College
Overheard by: trying to eat dinner in peace
Chick #1: He says he can fall in love with anybody, but he just sleeps with everybody.
Chick #2: Yeah, totally.
Chick #1: Also, he tried to date rape me, which is totally unromantic.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Jeff
Girl #1: Actually, no. She ate a bug once we got to Lake Michigan — wind blew it right down her throat.
Girl #2: Oh, no! But bugs have lots of protein, so that’s good.
Girl #1: They say that about semen, too, though, so I don’t know how much of a comfort that really is.
–Astor Pl
Overheard by: Michelle
Girl: You know, I love sushi, but it’s just too much raw fish. And you know how, like, people call pussy raw fish? I guess I’m eating pussy, then? Ha! Would that make me a lesbian?
Friend: You better die.
Girl: Okay, I’ll stop smoking crack now.
–7th & 2nd
Overheard by: Keesha Brown
Girl: Ugh! Can I hang myself with your tie, please?
Guy: No! I love this tie!
–110th & Manhattan
Overheard by: Chrissy
Headline by: axc
Runners-Up:
· “But Here’s a Shoelace. And a Gun. And Some Pills…” – Laura
· “But I’m So Over This Kitchen Knife…” – Rod W
· “It’s Hard Getting That “Desparate Chick” Smell Out Of Your Laundry” – Dagre
· “It’s Not Like I’m Taking It with Me…” – mo
· “Lives Come and Go, But Argyle Is Forever” – Patrick
· “Use This Noose I Hate.” – pbump
Girl #1: When I first met my boyfriend, I wasn’t that into him.
Girl #2: Yeah, but there wasn’t an 11-year age difference between you two!
Girl #1: But he was German! That’s comparable!
–40th & Park
Overheard by: Kamilla
