Suit: I’d leave my wife for her if her clit didn’t taste like a spicy tuna roll.

–Chambers & Broadway

Girl on cell: I don’t care how many fingers you put in her. Bottom line is, she didn’t blow you. So I win.

–Times Square

Overheard by: shap

Utilitarian guy: A blow job is better than no job.

–Sex Work Conference, The New School

Overheard by: wendy

Girl: $50 for a 2-minute bj? I’d do it. It takes me 8 hours to make $50. Shit.

–Queens bound F train

Overheard by: Marisa

Dude: So, did she orgasm in your mouth?

–219 2nd Ave

Overheard by: Trey Givens

Hipster: I’m thinking of getting that little string thing attached to my tongue cut off so I can eat pussy better.

–Chinatown bus

Queer #1 to queer #2: Well if I’m not giving you head and you’re not giving me head then we’ve got a problem.

–Wachovia, 17th & 7th

Overheard by: Joanna