92-year-old mother-in-law: It’s a two girl wedding?
Daughter-in-law, passing by second reception hall: Yes, two women are having a wedding reception, they got married.
Mother in law, as she studies the two women: Well, that one [Points.] isn’t so bad. she could have gotten a man.
Daughter-in-law: She didn’t want a man. she’s attracted to women.
Mother in law: I never had a chance to try that.
[Then proceeds back and forth to the bathroom several times during reception, to check.]

–Wedding Reception, Essex House

Overheard by: bridesmaid

Guy #1: Hey, how was your weekend?
Guy #2: Pretty good. I met her mother on Sunday.
Guy #1: Wow, great. Did you tell her that you two got married?
Guy #2: No, not yet. We’ll tell her we’re engaged next week and go from there.

–Esperanto Cafe, MacDougal Street

Arizona tourist: I forked my boss!
Sister-in-law: (awkward silence)
Arizona tourist: At least it was a plastic fork.


Overheard by: …nice

Young woman #1: So my mother-in-law is in Israel now.
Young woman #2: Oh. That really sucks. Bad timing, huh?
Young woman #1: No, I would say it’s perfect timing. I don’t want her to come back.
Young woman #2: True.

–23rd & 2nd

Overheard by: Stephanie