Jobs & Careers

30-something gay man to friend: I don't know if he is gay or not, but he worked at Starbucks and he had a lisp.

Ann Arbor, Michigan

Overheard by: Peter Piper

Guy, about his job: Right now, we are working on a line where you can make a customized branded dildo to fit your needs.
Woman who just told everyone she is pregnant: That's fantastic!

City Vino Restaurant
Jersey City, New Jersey

Overheard by: entertained witness

Mother: Hey, you could get a job at Build-A-Bear.
Exasperated daughter: No I couldn't, they have to wear khaki pants and denim shirts.

Overheard by: what?s wrong with that?

Professor, throwing exams on desk the day after taking them: I graded all of these. I want applause.
(class applauds)

Amherst, Massachusetts

Friend #1: Now all we need is a transvestite cop.
Friend #2: Don't worry, we have Katie!

Los Angeles, California

Neighbor, talking about busy husband: Yeah, he may take Monday off just to decompose.

Burke, Virginia

Overheard by: Jimmy C

Bimbette #1: I would love to be a fireman! You work, like, three days a week, and when you’re there you can just, like, sit and watch the news until the fire alarm goes off!
Bimbette #2: Yeah, but you’d have to watch people’s houses burn down.
Bimbette #1: Yeah… That’d be, like, really depressing.

Minneapolis, Minnesota

Light-skinned black woman: I’m just saying, I’d have been in the home and not in the fields.

Taco Mac
Atlanta, Georgia

Male Wal-Mart employee to female coworker: Come on, what's your problem? (smiles at her)
Female coworker: I can't smile. I work here.

Overheard by: A. Lil

Professor: Even my own mother tells people I’m a drug dealer.