Little boy: If you fell down and I saved you, would you love me?
Little girl: Nigga, please — I don’t want yo’ dirty-ass hands touchin’ my dress.
–B train
Overheard by: LSB
Little boy: If you fell down and I saved you, would you love me?
Little girl: Nigga, please — I don’t want yo’ dirty-ass hands touchin’ my dress.
–B train
Overheard by: LSB
Eight-year-old girl pointing at bin of toys: Mommy, which one should I get?
Mommy dearest: I don’t give a shit.
–Chinatown
Little grandson: Yo! He gonna go get some dicks!
Ghetto grandma: Where you learn to talk like? [To other passengers] I’m sorry. He needs his medication.
Little grandson: Dicks! Bitch! Coca-Cola!
–N train
Overheard by: CarrieBoo
Six-year-old boy #1: … And I was like, ‘Fucking lawyers!’
Six-year-old boy #2: Yeah!
–96th & CPW
Overheard by: after your alimony, are they?
Dad riding bicycle with young daughter in child seat: … And I used to think about my rabbit every day!
Daughter, incredulously: Are you insane?!
–5th & 6th, Park Slope, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Doc
Little girl looking at sculpture of Jessica Simpson: Look, Mommy — Britney Spears!
–Madame Tussauds
Overheard by: Mimbo
Little girl #1: So, I hear your mom is going to have a baby.
Little girl #2: Oh my god, I know! It’s going to totally ruin my social life!
–Bloomingdale Park, Staten Island
Little girl: Daddy, save my seat!
Dad: I can’t.
Little girl: Yes, you can — just put your hand on the seat.
Dad: But then someone might sit on my hand, and they might have a smelly butt, like you.
–1 train
Mom: Where’s Billy?
Kid: He’s back there, asleep on the toilet paper. [Family looks back and sees Billy resting his head on stack of toilet paper rolls.] Come on, Billy. We’ve got toilet paper you can sleep on at home.
–Target
Overheard by: Scott
Kid in stroller, to dad trying on sport coat: You look like a principal!
–Zara, 5th Ave
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Seven-year-old girl to doorman: I have diarrhea!
–Cornelia St
Two-year-old girl to woman with Froot Loops: You really shouldn’t buy that cereal. It’s bad for you.
–Duane Reade, UWS
Seven-year-old on cell: Emily, I’ve been trying to call you, like, three times! Are you still mad at me about… [looks around crowded bus and lowers his voice] … you know…?
–Shuttle bus, Flushing
Little girl to mom: It’s not that I want a pretzel — I need a pretzel.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Meagan
Little boy shaking his hips: Tryin’ make me go to rehab, I said no, no, no! [Later, to woman behind register] Do you have Rugrats Gone Wild?
–Blockbuster, 10th & Wanamaker Pl
Overheard by: Lily and Rebecca
