Young girl: Are you okay? Are you okay?
Younger girl: [Nods.]Young girl: Do you wanna have fun? Do you wanna have fun?
Younger girl: Yeah.
Young girl: I have a hint for you: don’t fall down.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Lauren Wurf
Young girl: Are you okay? Are you okay?
Younger girl: [Nods.]Young girl: Do you wanna have fun? Do you wanna have fun?
Younger girl: Yeah.
Young girl: I have a hint for you: don’t fall down.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Lauren Wurf
Little girl: Daddy, when you die do we get all of your money?
Father: Well, that won’t happen for a very long time.
Little girl: Daddy, how much money do you make?
–A train
Overheard by: A Chan
Little boy: Hey, can I pet your dog?
Man with puppy: You got a dollar?
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Emily
15-year-old kid at stoop sale: Yo, I should totally buy this.
Friend #1: It’s a door. What are you going to do with a door?
15-year-old kid: Yeah, but it’s only 20 dollars.
Friend #2: You should definitely buy it.
–Carroll St, between 6th & 7th Ave, Park Slope
Overheard by: mervis
Mom: Why don’t you pick out some nice earrings for me for Mother’s Day?
Little boy: I don’t have that much money. For Mother’s Day I’m getting you a hot dog.
–Gift store, the Met
Overheard by: Ki
Mom: Tie your shoelace.
Little girl: No.
Mom: If you don’t tie your shoelace, something very bad will happen to you!
–Starbucks
Seven-year-old: Mom? Did you take a picture when Hammie died?
Mother: No, it’s not right to take pictures of dead things…
Seven-year-old: No, I mean when you took the picture, did it stun him and kill him? [Sister chokes and spits out food.]Mother: Yeah, you deserve to choke on that…
–Penn Station
Overheard by: blondie
Two-year-old boy into broken cell: Hello? Hello?
Mom: That’s right!
Two-year-old boy: Mommy? Mommy! Mommy!
Mom: Honey, no yelling!
Two-year-old boy, whispering: Mommy! Mommy! [Turns the cell around, using it as a gun.] Bam! Bam! Bam, bam, bam! [Starts ‘shooting’ passengers.] Bam! Bam! Bam!
Mom: Honey! No acts of violence!
–Brooklyn-bound Q train
Overheard by:
Kid #1: Seriously?
Kid #2: Yeah, seriously.
Kid #1: Seriously?!
Kid #2: Yes, seriously.
Kid #1: Seriously?
Kid #2: Yes! Seriously! Gosh, you’re acting like SpongeBob!
–St. Catherine’s Elementary, Brooklyn
Overheard by: rpk
Headline by: Rock Bottom
Runners-Up:
· “…or Alberto Gonzalez under Oath.” – JC
· “Actual Script from Laguna Beach” – Jeremy
· “Dude, You’ve Been Watching Too Much SquarePant’s Anatomy” – Breanne S.
· “How Serious Can Spongebob Be If Spongebob Could Be Serious?” – Philip
· “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter – Test Campaign #34” – Paul Sheiman
Little boy: Daddy, I want a hamburger.
Dad: Hmmm.
Little boy: A hamburger, Daddy. I want… a hamburger!
Dad: Yes, you do.
Little boy: Daddy, I want–
Dad: –You’re not getting a goddamned hamburger!
–Nobu Sushi
