Chick: I’m so glad for those, uh, Ramadan people.
Friend: Muslims?
Chick: Yeah, the UN was closed and I got to sit at home watching soap operas and eating cereal.
–6 train
Chick: I’m so glad for those, uh, Ramadan people.
Friend: Muslims?
Chick: Yeah, the UN was closed and I got to sit at home watching soap operas and eating cereal.
–6 train
Hipster girl: How could you wear that?!
Fur coat lady: I love animals so much that if I can’t be one I might as well wear one around my neck!
–N train
Overheard by: teabird
Black chick #1: Geminis are the only people we need in this world.
Black chick #2: No, I think you’re wrong.
Black chick #1: What sign are you?
Black chick #2: I’m a Libra.
Black chick #1: No, we don’t need no Libras, Aries, or Tauruses.
Black chick #2 to her friend: What sign are you?
Friend: I think I’m a Scorpio.
Black chick #1: I’ve fucked a few Scorpios, they’re okay.
–2 train
Overheard by: Just wanted to get home
Guy #1: My girlfriend is making me go see the Rachel Ray show live.
Guy #2: Why? Man, you need to put that shit to rest.
Guy #1: What does that even mean?
Guy #3: He’s saying you’re a pussy-whipped fag and that your girlfriend is a bitch.
–6 train
Overheard by: Shreve-ey-ey
Man: Excuse me, you cut in front of everyone.
Woman: Don’t tap me again or I will call the police!
Man: But you just walked right in front of all these people.
Woman: Tap me again, go ahead, and I’ll call the police. Tap me and I’ll also do my kung fu on you.
–1 train
Overheard by: Collegiate Cutie
Old black guy #1: You know who really has their shit together?
Old black guy #2: Who?
Old black guy #1: The Amish.
Old black guy #2: For sure.
–F train
Homeless man: You need to pray to Jesus everyday. Do you thank Jesus for your food or your family or the newspaper? The devil is killing you through newspapers and the media. Are you thankful to Jesus? He loves you if you talk to him everyday.
Queer: I would be thankful to Jesus if you would stop shouting in my ear so I can listen to Beyonce’s newest album.
–N train
Overheard by: Brina Guild
Headline by: kempadimes
Runners-Up:
· “Is my Savior too bootylicious?” – Mdaneman
· “Jesulicious” – Mark Schilsky
· “Jesus loves me, this I know. A fucking hobo tells me so.” – Extra Character
· “Jesus saves souls, not careers” – Megan
· “Some messiahs are so high-maintenance” – N. A. Cargo
Man to lady pushing onto train: Look, I can’t go in much further unless I start sodomozing the guy in front of me.
Guy in front of him: Yeah… I really don’t want that.
–Crowded L train, Bedford
Overheard by: KiltMan
Teen girl #1: Does my smell really bother you that much?
Teen girl #2: It’s like raw sewage. Or a diaper that’s been sitting a real long time.
–6 train
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Teen guy: You are the most unashamed person I’ve ever met.
Teen girl: Yeah, just don’t start talking about opening my openings again.
–5 train
Overheard by: dara
