Guy #1: Thank God we cant get pregnant.
Guy #2: Yes! [Slaps high-five.]Drunk girl: Normally I’d slap you five, but I stopped taking birth control last week… So if anyone wants to impregnate me, now is the time!
–Penn Station
Guy #1: Thank God we cant get pregnant.
Guy #2: Yes! [Slaps high-five.]Drunk girl: Normally I’d slap you five, but I stopped taking birth control last week… So if anyone wants to impregnate me, now is the time!
–Penn Station
Hipster chick #1: She calls him ‘Mango,’ and I have no clue why.
Hipster chick #2: Maybe because he looks mangolian?
Hipster chick #1: Mongolian? Like, the retards?
Hipster chick #2: Yeah, that’s what I meant.
Hipster chick #1: Oh, well, then that’s kind of cute.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: wondering when the word cute got redefined.
Dude #1: Alright, guys, I gotta get home.
Dude #2: Keep your butthole tight.
Dude #3: I’ll pray for you.
Dude #1: I think I’ll be okay. I ate that stuff with the seaweed in it.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Duzen
Teen #1: Come on, let me rub it out!
Teen #2: No!
Teen #1: I’m telling you, it works. Let me rub on it!
Teen #2: Get away from me! Dad, tell John* to stay on his side of the train seat!
Teen #1: I’m just trying to rub the tension out of his muscle.
Dad: Okay, boys, stay in your own seats and keep your hands to yourselves. This week’s episode of post-fraternity homoerotic nostalgia is over.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Gay4God
Guy #1: I can’t believe I’m back here. It has been such a long time.
Guy #2: Why? You’ve been traveling?
Guy #1: Nope — prison.
–Penn Station
Tall guy: Man, get away from me. You’re cracked out.
Small guy: I ain’t smokin’ crack! I smoke dust, nigga!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Mike
Fat woman, panting: Slow down! I can’t run in these heels.
Thin woman: You can’t run in that ass.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: invid
Girl: She’s a lesbian…
Guy: Lesbians love strap-ons.
Girl: I thought the point of being a lesbian is that you’re not into… that…
Guy: Well, there’s only so much you can do with two vaginas.
–Penn Station
Six-year-old girl, grabbing a Bud Light: Daddy, can I get this?
Four-year-old sister: Yeah, can I have one too, Daddy?
Dad: Not right now, but if you two are good, I’ll get you a keg later.
Mom: I’d be down for that.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Jas
Chick #1: What right did he have to touch me?!
Chick #2: None! Fucking pervert.
Chick #1: I don’t understand… Was the ‘Fuck off’ sign on my forehead not enough for him? … God, is there a bathroom around here? I really need to wash my hands now.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Amused
