Drunk #1: Guys, I got us a taxi!
Drunk #2: Dude, we don’t need a taxi.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Bill Atkins
Drunk #1: Guys, I got us a taxi!
Drunk #2: Dude, we don’t need a taxi.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Bill Atkins
Girl: Can I have an egg omelette?
Chef: Um…yes, do you want anything in that?
Girl: Doesn’t it come with stuff in it?
Chef: Yes, what do you want in your omelette?
Girl: Eggs.
Chef: That it?
Girl: Actually, what kind of omelettes besides egg do you have?
–Penn Station
British chick: I just solved my lunch problem, because I hate raw cheese.
–27th Street office
Guy: Bitch, you better give me back my donuts or I’ll pull out your weave.
–Washington Heights
Overheard by: Vinson Guthreau
Guy: Nothing like going to Chuck E. Cheese to make you start drinking again.
–82nd & Amsterdam
Overheard by: JY
Lady: This is a yuppie McDonald’s. It’s all middle class people here.
–McDonald’s, 47th Street
Overheard by: Christa Bramberger
As a Brooklyn Brewery delivery truck passed a toddler on the sidewalk yelled: I love beer!
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: tee sul
Bartender: If the Burp Castle ever closes it means the death of classical music in New York.
–Burp Castle bar, E. 7th Street
Guy on cell: Is this like that time where Laura told me that cat food was Lucky Charms?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Cynthia
Conductor: We’re experiencing some slight delays. There seems to be a power outage in the station. Or on the tracks. Or there might be an Amtrak line down. You should probably get off now and take the PATH. And if you didn’t hear this message the other three times, I’ll be saying it again in 30 seconds.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: gigglechick
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, we’re on Track A, which is normally an eastbound track. We’re waiting for written instructions to depart. They’re probably making copies for us right now. Thank you for your patience.
–Newark Penn Station
Overheard by: gigglechick
Chick: In my passport photo, I totally look like a suicidal heroin addict.
Mom: Well, at least that probably means you look thin. Aren’t heroin addicts thin?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Djlindee
Guy: My roommate is such a pain in the ass. It’s always something with her. She never stops complaining about something.
Girl: I know, same thing at my house.
Guy: She gets me so fed up it’s like all i hear now is, “Wah wah, my pussy hurts.”
–Penn Plaza office
Overheard by: Ocera
Girl: Damn, those headphones are fucking ghetto!
Boy: Shut up, they’re not that bad.
Girl: Um, actually they’re beyond ghetto. They’re…backyard.
–Penn Station
Yuppie chick #1: I had my taxes done on Saturday. I had to pay Federal and State taxes.
Yuppie chick #2: That sucks.
Yuppie chick #1: Yeah. The only thing I can do to stop paying is have a kid or buy something. Maybe I’ll do number 1.
Yuppie chick #2: No way! I’d much rather buy something!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: MattyWaters
Fat black woman: Hey, watch where you’re going! Say “excuse me” instead of bumping into me like that. Don’t you know how to speak English?
Japanese girl: You need a diet!
–Penn station
Overheard by: JL
Girl: Your hair looks so hot when it’s raining.
Boy: Really?
Girl: Yes, you get that Swedish porn star look.
Boy: In that case I hope it rains all weekend.
–Penn Station
