Professor-like man: Excuse me, are you a Muslim?
Muslim man, slightly hesitant: Yes, why?
Professor-like man: Well, I was hoping you could answer a question I have about the Koran that I’ve been wondering about for a while. [Muslim man nods.] Can you tell me everything the Koran says about female circumcision?
Muslim man: Is there a bus stop nearby?
–Outside Columbia University subway entrance
Overheard by: Matthew
Guy #1: Dude, have you ever done it in blood?
Guy #2: Uh, yeah…
–Columbia University
Little girl, looking at teen with glasses: Why do you wear glasses?
Little boy: Because she farts too much!
–Austin St, Forest Hills
MTA announcement: Due to an earlier incident, service on the number one line is running slowly. Please be patient.
Girl on stairs: Please be patient… What do they mean?
–59th St station
Overheard by: Sibyl
Dad: Let’s go to St. Patrick’s!
Kid: … Is that another bar?
–51st & 5th
Overheard by: Kelly
Fish guy: Yeah, my dad died of colon cancer in 2001.
Blonde: Oh, how’s he doing?
–Grocery store, Astoria
Overheard by: Dustin
Headline by: Mr. Gee
Runners-Up:
· “‘Great Listener’ Is On Her Resumee” – Denny
· “Decomposing Quite Nicely, Thank You for Asking” – RBNY
· “I’d Say His Condition Is Stable” – Tadzio
· “Rolling Over About Now” – Kaitlen
· “Rotting, No Doubt” – Katy
· “Well, Mom Won’t Share a Bed with Him Anymore.” – Cassie
· “Worst Pick-up, Best Blow-off” – halfknot
College girl #1: So, like, when we were in high school and sharing dressing rooms for drama stuff, were you ever, like, attracted to me?
College girl #2: No.
College girl #1: Oh… [Very put out] Not at all?!
–108th & Broadway
Young Asian man to Asian woman with baby, while touching baby’s foot: She is so soft. Does she have bones yet?
Asian mom: Yes, she has bones!
–L train
Overheard by: Lisa
Professor: Obviously, this was a very difficult sound to pronounce. Not Latin, Greek, or even Sanskrit uses it. It does not occur outside of the proto-Indo-European language.
Student: Why did they use it?
Professor: They didn’t.
Student: I mean the Indo-Europeans — if it was so difficult to pronounce, why would–
Professor, interrupting: Why the hell does anybody do anything?!
–Etymology class, Hunter College
