Black guy: What the fuck is wrong with you? How are you not gonna like pussy?
Friend, with cornrows: ‘Cause, fool! There’s only one thing better, and that’s money.
Black guy, concurring: The only thing.
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Sleepy Monkey
Black guy: What the fuck is wrong with you? How are you not gonna like pussy?
Friend, with cornrows: ‘Cause, fool! There’s only one thing better, and that’s money.
Black guy, concurring: The only thing.
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Sleepy Monkey
Girl: What’s the deal with New York’s bagels, anyway? I mean, they’re delicious! What do you think New Yorkers do differently to their bagels that makes them so… Oh, look at you! You’re too drunk to keep up with me because I’m speaking so rapidly.
Drunk guy: I’m listening to your rabbits!
–NYU
Overheard by: Evan Regas
JAP halting mid-stride: Wait a sec… Why are my pants wet?!
–82nd & 2nd
Overheard by: my boyfriend is a grizzly bear
Headline by: John
Runners-Up:
· “And Who Dropped That Baby?” – trade800
· “Bob the Urinating Hobo Ninja Strikes Again” – Darryl S.
· “Did A Bag Of Money Just Walk By?” – Jolly
· “The Joys Of Unknown Pregnancy Coming Full Term” – The Lazy Canadian
· “This Eventually Happens to Every New Yorker” – Dagre
· “Was Too Busy Shopping to Be Toilet Trained” – G
Fortune teller: Excuse me, miss, where did you get your dress?
Pretty brunette: Don’t you know?
–Mulberry & Canal
Old man, with wife: How much is it to Elmont Cemetery?
Car service dispatcher: Will that be one way, or round-trip?
–E 19th St & Ave U, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Arthur
Girl counting her money: Excuse me, ma’am — are there four quarters in a dollar?
Older lady: Yes, my dear.
Girl: Oh, great! Thanks!
–Times Square station
Man: So, how was Missouri?
Woman: I was in Vermont.
Man: How was Vermont?
Woman: It was okay.
Man: Was it?
–1166 6th Ave
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Yuppie #1: Yeah, I’ve been to a few donkey shows… You know there are different types, right?
Yuppie #2, hesitantly: Um, yeah… I went to one once and pretty much got the point.
–Yankee Stadium
Chick on cell: How long will it be for a cab to Forest Hills?
Deadpan dispatcher: About 15 minutes.
Chick on cell: Ohhh… How long will it be if I call back in half an hour?
Deadpan dispatcher: I can’t predict the future, ma’am.
–Kew Gardens, Queens
Overheard by: Stephanie
Chick #1: Where the fuck is Seattle?
Chick #2: Oregon.
–55th & 3rd
Overheard by: Meghan
