Guy: What’s in the steamed little juicy buns?
Four-fingered Chinese waitress: 10 minute longer.
–Ollie’s, 44th & Broadway
Guy: What’s in the steamed little juicy buns?
Four-fingered Chinese waitress: 10 minute longer.
–Ollie’s, 44th & Broadway
Guy on cell: Yeah….it was a crazy night. Well, we were drinking wine….and, well, you know….one thing lead to another and pretty soon all four of us were in bed together.
–HSBC ATM, Times Square
Drunk blonde: How old are you?
Kid: 17.
Drunk blonde: Ever been with a 26-year-old?
Kid’s father intervenes.
–B. B. King’s, Machine concert
Overheard by: Brown Eyed Girl
Friend #1: There’s a virgin.
Friend #2: What?
Friend #1: There’s a virgin.
Friend #2: What?
Friend #1: There’s a Virgin record store out by Times Square. We should go.
Friend #2: Yeah.
–Midtown Comics, 40th & 7th.
Tourist girl #1: You stand in front of me..and you stand in back of me.
Tourist girl #2: Why?
Tourist girl #1: You guys are my stab buffer. I’m just taking the necessary safety precautions.
–Times Square
Promoter guy: Do you guys want to see a comedy show?
Tourist mom: Oh, sorry, we have an opera tonight.
Promoter guy: Oh! Fidelio?
Tourist mom: No, Phantom.
–45th & Broadway
Overheard by: Andy Hobin
Tourist #1: Where do you keep your wallet?
Tourist #2: I don’t, I keep my money in my hair.
Tourist #3: I love how you two are talking about where you keep your money.
–Times Square
Chick #1: What do you want to do now?
Chick #2: I don’t know.
Chick #1: Well, why don’t we go to Webster Hall?
Chick #2: Where?
Chick #1: Webster Hall… I was talking to this girl on MySpace and she said that Webster Hall is this upscale lounge.
Chick #2: I could do with an upscale lounge.
Chick #1: I agree, I’m sick of these loud-ass clubs and shit.
–Times Square station
Overheard by: Shen
Tourist #1: I recognize that accent! Where are you from?
Tourist #2: Tennessee.
Tourist #1: Really? I’m from North Carolina!
Tourist #2: Where’s that?
Tourist #1: Right next to Tennessee.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Victoria Spring
Hobo: …and the cookies from the sky, you know, man? All them cookies from the sky, like fuckin’ meteors!
Tourist girl: Look, Mom, it’s a Beat poet!
–Times Square
