Man: Do you want fries?
Woman: No, I’ll eat yours.
–Times Square
Man: Do you want fries?
Woman: No, I’ll eat yours.
–Times Square
Black girl: Hey white girl, where is the party?
White girl: What? We don’t know.
Hispanic girl #1: Y’all know where all the parties are.
White girl: We are from Cali.
Black and Hispanic girls: Ohhhhh.
Long pause.
Black girl #1: Welcome.
Black girl #2: What the fuck are you, the welcome wagon?
–Times Square
Teenie girl: Omigod! Idea! Do you want to go rent a movie?
Her much older boyfriend: Sure. Have you seen The Firm?
Teenie girl: What is that, like a porno?
–Hershey store, Times Square
Overheard by: Just wanted some gummy bears
Amiable but very intoxicated hobo: I don’t believe this, how long you been a seargent?
World’s weariest transit copy: Eight years Miquel, you drunken jackass.
–Port Authority
Man with facial hair: You can only really pull off a Fu Man Chu if you’re a cop, a gay porn star, or a pirate.
–Virgin Records, Times Square
Guy to his girlfriend: You are one hairy bastard
–78th & 1st
Girl on cell: It’s Fleet Week here, so I’m getting laid.
–47th & Broadway
Overheard by: Rachel
Girl to sailor: Well, without your hat you’re fucking ugly!
–MacDougal & Bleeker
Drunk guy #1: Man, I gotta get laid tonight.
Drunk guy #2: I’m sure there’s a costume shop around here somewhere. You’d totally increase your chances if you wore a sailor outfit.
Drunk guy #1: Yeah… but I like pussy.
–44th & 8th
Overheard by: Peebs
Tall Asian teen: That was really funny.
Shorter white teen: Yeah, I’m sorry I keep calling you a fucking Asian.
–Coming out of Avenue Q, 45th & Broadway
Teen on cell: So how do I get to your office? Wait, which way is east? Towards the river? What river? I’M IN THE MIDDLE OF TIMES SQUARE, I DON’T SEE A FUCKIN RIVER! WHAT DO YOU MEAN, ASK SOMEONE WHERE THE FUCKING RIVER IS? MANHATTAN’S AN ISLAND, THERE’S RIVER ALL OVER THE PLACE!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Ilysse Weisenfeld
Woman #1: I am so tired!
Woman #2: You don’t look tired!
Man: Oh, you haven’t seen her naked!
–Eugene O’Neill Theatre
Overheard by: Alex Barragan
