Wednesday One-Liners Are Just Big-Boned

Chick: Then he peer-pressured me into being morbidly obese!

–1 train

Girl on cell: Nothing’s bigger than Oprah, not even my mother’s ass!

–Ocean Pkwy and Neptune Ave, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Ilysse Weisenfeld

Dude with flyers: New York Sports Club! Only 37 dollars! Get yo’ fat ass to the gym!

–Court & Joralemon, Brooklyn

Overheard by: elwood

Little boy: Mommy, I’m sick of all the fat girls in Coney Island.

–Queens Center Mall

Walking VD: It’s not cheating if she’s fat.

–Outside Jugo Juice, Times Square

Teen girl on cell: Ugh, great. Now she’s just going to make fun of me because I’m short and fat! Oh my God!

–Q46 bus

Overheard by: Melissa

Posted on July 19, 2006
A-List, About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Brooklyn, Celebrities, Coney Island, Diet/Weight, Fat People, Girls, Gyms, Height, Infidelity, Kids, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, On Cell, On the Bus, On the Subway, Parents, People, Places, Pop Culture, Private Parts, Queens, Sex & Relationships, Teens, Times Square, Topics, TV, Venues

The Real Problem With Assless Chaps

Guy #1: I need to get some Chapstick. I have some chapped ass lips, man.
Guy #2: Gross, you have chapped asslips?

–Times Square

Overheard by: patrick Smith

Posted on July 14, 2006
Ass, Guys, Times Square

On Special This Week At Yankee Candle!

Child: Mommy, what’s that smell?
Mother: That’s the city, honey.

–44th & 8th

Posted on July 9, 2006
Kids, Moms, Only in New York, Times Square

A Soundtrack of Tinny Audio Leakage From Sixteen Million Earbuds

Boy #1: Damn it! I forgot my iPod.
Boy #2: Don’t worry. The city is a soundtrack in itself.

–44th & Broadway

Overheard by: Liz

Posted on July 2, 2006
iPod, Manhattan, Only in New York, Times Square

CSI: Wednesday One-liners

Teen girl: Ooh, take a picture. Someone got stabbed here last night!

–Outside the W, Times Square

Overheard by: melissa

Asian tranny on cell: But we never smelt nothing cause we didn’t even know the body was there!

–51st & 9th

Posted on June 21, 2006
All Wednesday One-Liners, Asians, Death, Stab, Teens, Times Square

One Too Many Tarantino Films

Girl: I did, I saw Uma Thurman in Les Mis.
Guy: She wasn’t in Les Mis.
Girl: Not on stage, on TV.
Guy: She wasn’t in Les Mis on TV.
Girl: I thought it was her, or someone else with that cross-eyed look.

–42nd & 8th

Posted on June 13, 2006
About Celebrities, Arts & Letters, Body Parts, Fashion, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Pop Culture, Theater & Dance, Times Square, TV

80% of Divorces Start This Way

Man: Do you want fries?
Woman: No, I’ll eat yours.

–Times Square

Posted on June 11, 2006
Etiquette, Food, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Relationships, Restaurants & Cafes, Sex & Relationships, Times Square

A New York Welcome — Blink, and You’ll Miss It

Black girl: Hey white girl, where is the party?
White girl: What? We don’t know.
Hispanic girl #1: Y’all know where all the parties are.
White girl: We are from Cali.
Black and Hispanic girls: Ohhhhh.
Long pause.
Black girl #1: Welcome.
Black girl #2: What the fuck are you, the welcome wagon?

–Times Square

Posted on June 10, 2006
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Etiquette, Manhattan, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, Times Square, Tourists

She’s Thinking of The Pelican Briefs

Teenie girl: Omigod! Idea! Do you want to go rent a movie?
Her much older boyfriend: Sure. Have you seen The Firm?
Teenie girl: What is that, like a porno?

–Hershey store, Times Square

Overheard by: Just wanted some gummy bears

Posted on June 9, 2006
Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Movies, Pop Culture, Porn, Relationships, Sex & Relationships, Teens, Times Square

Every Long-Term Relationship Has Its Challenges

Amiable but very intoxicated hobo: I don’t believe this, how long you been a seargent?
World’s weariest transit copy: Eight years Miquel, you drunken jackass.

–Port Authority

Posted on June 9, 2006
Drinking & Drunk People, Hobos, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On the Subway, Times Square