Tourist #1: Why is New York called ‘The Village’?
Tourist #2: Huh? Oh, no. Greenwich Village. It’s a section of New York.
Tourist #1: Why does it need sections?
Tourist #2: ‘Cause it’s huge. It’s like the size of Chicago or something.
–13th & 4th
Overheard by: Couldn’t help but laugh
Female tourist, as flurries fall: Is that snow?
Male tourist: I think they’re ashes!
–Ground Zero
Overheard by: wiliiam wilson
North Dakotan tourist: Hi, Mr. Mayor. Can we take a picture with you?
Mayor Bloomberg: Sure thing, but if you don’t smile I’m going to tickle you.
–Times Square
Tourist chick: I thought I’d see people dressed up like Mary Kate and Ashley and a bunch of rude hippies.
–9th St
Overheard by: heroldo
Tourist pointing to chairs in Rockefeller Center: I don’t know — they must be having an event or something, because usually you can ice skate here all year long!
–Rockefeller Center
Excited bimbette tourist: I thought the Atlantic ocean was bigger than this!
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Spectre
Tourist wearing fanny-pack: Look, a McDonald’s! Right here in the city!
–42nd & 5th
Overheard by: Nancy
Excited tourist passing hobo: Now, that is a real street person! Did you get a chance to smell him?
–31st & 6th
Tourist: We’re going to the opera tonight!
Waitress: Wonderful! Which opera are you going to see?
Tourist: Phantom!
Waitress, after stunned silence: … You’re gonna love it!
–Del Frisco’s, 6th Ave
Tourist: Excuse me, how do I get to Times Square?
Ghetto dude: This is Times Square.
Tourist, slower and louder: No. Times Square.
Ghetto dude, slower and louder: This is Times Square.
Tourist: No, I’m looking for the actual square. Where’s the square?
Ghetto dude: Oh, you want the square… Go down six blocks, turn left, and go down three. You can’t miss it.
Tourist: Hey, thanks a lot, man.
Ghetto dude: Dumb fuck.
–42nd & Broadway
Tourist #1: Our next vacation should be to Chicago. At least people there are normal.
Tourist #2: They are not normal.
Tourist #1: Why not?
Tourist #2: People from the Midwest just don’t get it like we do — we just get it.
Tourist #1: Yeah, I guess you’re right. I think I get it.
Tourist #2: No, you don’t.
–Times Square
Info booth lady: I only have this map — it’s really not very helpful at all.
Tourist: Great! Thank you! This is exactly what I need!
–N train
Tourist kid looking at digital camera, whining: She took a picture of me sleeping!
Tourist mom: You erase it and you die!
–6 train
Tourist dad: Kids, you have pay attention when we’re in the big city, ’cause…
Daughter: ‘Cause if you don’t you die?
Dad: No, you could get lost and then you’ll become a street person.
–Central Park South
