Tourist: Is this the 1:13 to Trenton?
Suit: No.
Tourist: Oh, well, where is that?
Suit: Are you just, like, picking track numbers and hoping for the best? Go read the screen, you dumbass.
Tourist: You don’t have to be rude.
Suit: You don’t have to be stupid.
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: Erin
Chinese lady hawker: DVD! DVD! DVD!
Southerner lady: Do y’all have The Sound of Music?
Chinese lady hawker: New DVD only! Charlotte Web! New James Bond!
Southerner lady: They just get everything first in New York, don’t they? So… Y’all don’t have The Sound of Music?
–Canal St
Overheard by: Miss Megan
Tourist: Tall? That is not a tall coffee — that is small!
Local chick: Well, that’s why they call it ‘tall,’ so you don’t think it’s small.
–Starbucks, Wall St & Broadway
Overheard by: murx
Teen girl tourist: Dad, you know so much about New York!
Tourist dad: Well, here’s the thing — I’m going to tell you a lot of facts about New York while we’re here… Not all of them are going to be true…
–76th & Broadway
Overheard by: balletrhino
Tourist: Excuse me, ma’am? Can you tell me how to get to the Golden Gate Bridge?
Local, after long pause: Up two blocks, make a left. You can’t miss it.
–Union Square
Hot dog vendor: How you like it?
Tourist: Just ketchup, please.
Hot dog vendor: You not like New York style?
Tourist: Sure, but not today.
Hot dog vendor, reluctantly handing over dog: I think you make very big mistake today, sir, and every day, too.
–Battery Park
Headline by: fru
Runners-Up:
· “Just Guessing by That Izod Shirt You Are Wearing” – anne nahm
· “New York Style Always Leaves Me A Little Sore Thanks” – Uulargh of the Prairie
· “New York Style Means the Attitude’s Free” – Christine
· “New York Style? How Do They Fit ‘Fuck You’ In A Bun?” – Taylor
· “New York Style: Mustard, Sauerkraut, Judgement” – kimathi
· “Street Meat, the Best Population Control Money Can Buy.” – Chance
Tourist #1: Why is New York called ‘The Village’?
Tourist #2: Huh? Oh, no. Greenwich Village. It’s a section of New York.
Tourist #1: Why does it need sections?
Tourist #2: ‘Cause it’s huge. It’s like the size of Chicago or something.
–13th & 4th
Overheard by: Couldn’t help but laugh
Female tourist, as flurries fall: Is that snow?
Male tourist: I think they’re ashes!
–Ground Zero
Overheard by: wiliiam wilson
North Dakotan tourist: Hi, Mr. Mayor. Can we take a picture with you?
Mayor Bloomberg: Sure thing, but if you don’t smile I’m going to tickle you.
–Times Square
Tourist chick: I thought I’d see people dressed up like Mary Kate and Ashley and a bunch of rude hippies.
–9th St
Overheard by: heroldo
Tourist pointing to chairs in Rockefeller Center: I don’t know — they must be having an event or something, because usually you can ice skate here all year long!
–Rockefeller Center
Excited bimbette tourist: I thought the Atlantic ocean was bigger than this!
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Spectre
Tourist wearing fanny-pack: Look, a McDonald’s! Right here in the city!
–42nd & 5th
Overheard by: Nancy
Excited tourist passing hobo: Now, that is a real street person! Did you get a chance to smell him?
–31st & 6th
