Wednesday One‐Liners Sit Shiva

50‐something suit: In many ways I enjoyed his funeral reception more than his wedding reception.


Overheard by: Joe H.

Girl on cell: He died. They found his body. I don’t know, somewhere in the Bronx. He was strangled or some shit. Yeah, he died from it. Oh shit, that’s why I forgot to send you the invitation for the whatchacallit, the funeral.

–Rivington & Attorney

Overheard by: I wasn’t invited either

Gay guy to friend: So I told John I would go to his funeral just to spit in his face!

–West Bank Cafe

60‐something woman to another: So I’m glad I didn’t go to his fucking bitch sister’s funeral. But now he’s mad.

–Central Park

20‐something guy on cell: Just ’cause I did meth with his daughter doesn’t mean I’m going to go to his funeral!

–7th Ave Subway Entrance