Girl: She looked like a mix between a Christmas ham and a hooker.

Princeton, New Jersey

Overheard by: NS

Girl #1: Oh, god. It’s freezing! Fuck life!
Girl #2: You mean, fuck the weather.
Girl #1: No, fuck life… And fuck random people telling me I have ADD!

Overheard by: dela

Chick to friend: Man, you’ve gotta get laid. I need to live vicariously through someone’s vagina.

Village Inn
Anchorage, Alaska

Overheard by: Tabs

Private school girl: Did I tell you what Jane* asked me?
Best friend: No.
Private school girl: She was all like, ‘Did you hook up with a homeless guy?’ and I was all like, ‘No, of course not! Never say that again!’
Best friend, laughing hard: I can’t believe you did that!
Private school girl: What, hooked up with a homeless guy? It’s not a big deal.

Haight Street
San Francisco, California

Girl, about guy she had over the previous night: It freaked me out. I told him he had to do a double flush, a courtesy flush, and light a match, or he wasn’t allowed back.

Overheard by:

Kenny Chesney Never Mentioned That

Hungover chick: It was the first time I ever gave a blow job…on a tractor.

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Shotboy

Tired-looking girl to security officer: Are you the guy who’s going to burn my taco?

Dallas-Fort Worth Airport

Girl: Shit! I’ve been out of commission for, like, one week and there’s already three new gay words!

Casa dos Artistas Fashion Show
São Paulo

Chick #1: Oh my god, Latonya! You should’ve written down ‘Bubbles’!
Chick #2: Bubbles?
Latonya: Yeah, that’s my gangster name. I know it’s not tough, but I still like it!

All Saints High School
Whitby, Ontario

Overheard by: male student reluctantly forced into a group

Chick: … So then I started exfoliating my nipples every morning…


Overheard by: gin