20‐something chick: Sea captains doing table‐service is never okay.
Overheard by: Ladle
Lady on Bluetooth: Well, if you prove to everyone that your vagina is as wide as an ocean, then go ahead!
Teenage girl to friend: So, I heard back from the lifeguard application. (pauses, then utterly bewildered) I need to know how to swim!
–Uptown 1 Train
Overheard by: totheworld
Loud woman on escalator: No, you don’t get it. When you’re under water, you’re not wet.
–Queens Center Mall
Overheard by: Burning Vegan
Middle‐aged man watching seven‐year old swimming deftly in shallow end: Oh, yeah? Well, I can drive. Can you? My feet can touch the bottom. Can yours?
–CUNY Swim Class
Overheard by: obyun