Mini-skirt girl: Her name is Pearl, so she's either an 80-year-old white lady from Connecticut…
Suit: Or an 18-year-old, French-speaking lieutenant in an Asian motorcycle gang.
Mini-skirt girl: Yours is weirdly specific.

Bridgeport, Connecticut

Overheard by: Agreed

Mom to two kids: Now, you can both get one paperback each, but remember, they have to be normal paperbacks. Nothing about dragons.

New Haven, Connecticut

Little girl: I need a knife.
Concerned mother: What? Why?
Little girl: So I can cut your fingers off!
Concerned mother: Ashley*! Now, that’s not nice!
Little girl: But I’m hungry!

Old Navy
Plainville, Connecticut

Girl on cell: I can't tell if I'm losing weight from softball or gaining weight from being hungry all the time.

Hartford, Connecticut

Overheard by: Claire

Tall black girl with fauxhawk: I don't know why everyone doesn't have an Asian fetish! They're pocket sized and stunning!

New Haven, Connecticut

Frustrated man with heavy Arabic accent to wife: I got the most chicky-flick movies I could find!


Chick: So basically I slept with this really hot Australian rugby player that I knew for less than 24 hours, and my dead friend watched.
Dude: We are so different.

Derby, Connecticut

Professor: Now, let's try smallening the interval.

Hartford, Connecticut

Overheard by: Claire

College girl: My bra — it’s, like, magical! It mysteriously unclips itself throughout the day!

Fairfield University
Fairfield, Connecticut

Overheard by: GladMyBraIsntMagical..

Fat guy: So, I was getting head when all of a sudden I got this case of explosive diarrhea! I shitted everywhere, dude!

University of Hartford
West Hartford, Connecticut

Overheard by: Joa