Girl buying coffee, coughing: I hate this throat. It’s a piece of shit!
Guy buying Red Bull: You know what helps with that?
Girl: Please don’t say ‘cock’ again.
Guy, flustered and laughing: What I was going to say was ‘cough syrup.’
Male cashier, laughing: $8.98’s your change.
–Christopher St
Redhead: And look — he gave me a hickey last night.
Man: I thought he was gay.
Redhead: He is.
Man: Oh, good. I was afraid my radar stopped working.
Guy behind them: I was going to say, ‘He deserves a fucking Oscar for his gayness.’ Or Tony. Whatever.
–55th St, between 2nd & 3rd
Rocker girl: Why should I buy music on iTunes when everything I have on my iPod I’ve gotten for free on the Internet?
Rocker guy: The songs are only 99 cents, and you’d be helping out the musicians…
Rocker girl: But I am a musician – I’m helping myself out!
–Virgin Megastore
Overheard by: Gunnar
Girl: It was the awkward moment of all awkward moments.
Guy friend, dreamily: I don’t believe in awkward moments.
–Stuyvesant High
Overheard by: Larry
Guy: I don’t know if I actually agree with you.
Girl: So, what are ovaries if not inverted testicles?
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Seth J.
Blonde: So, I went home for Thanksgiving, and my grandmother told me that only ugly girls apply to grad school, because they can’t find a husband. Then she said she would pay for me to get a boob job so I could find a husband.
Adoring friend: Wow, your grandma is so cool!
Blonde: Yeah, but like, I wouldn’t know how big to get them, ’cause I don’t want back problems or anything, but I’ve always wanted boobs!
–NYU bus
Overheard by: Sarah
Guy: I have to go to the drug store. I’m all out of condoms.
Girl: I found one on the subway!
–113th & Broadway
Overheard by: nex0s
Lady: Maybe we should go get some soup for your daughter instead of the vegetable Tempura.
Mother of young girl: Why?
Lady: Because she’s not eating the vegetables — she’s just drinking the Tempura sauce.
Mother: Oh. That’s fine.
–Food court, Mall
Confused girl: Why do you have strings coming out of your pants?
Boy: It’s a Jewish thing.
–LaGuardia High
Guy #1: Thank God we cant get pregnant.
Guy #2: Yes! [Slaps high-five.]Drunk girl: Normally I’d slap you five, but I stopped taking birth control last week… So if anyone wants to impregnate me, now is the time!
–Penn Station
