Woman: Damn, girl, I wanna get a nice coffin, and I can’t be all hanging out and shit.
Friend: That’s so true! When I leave, I wanna leave with a bang. I’m gonna get my nails done, and my ears did…
–5 train
Overheard by: ears did?
Woman: Damn, girl, I wanna get a nice coffin, and I can’t be all hanging out and shit.
Friend: That’s so true! When I leave, I wanna leave with a bang. I’m gonna get my nails done, and my ears did…
–5 train
Overheard by: ears did?
Angry chick: Yeah, so I am in this really fuckin’ Zen place. I’ve been doing fucking yoga, and I’m really calm and Zen. Can’t you tell how fucking Zen I am?!
Friend: Ummm… Yeah, totally.
–8th St & Astor Pl
Overheard by: Alyson Leigh
Guy: … And then she gets all pissed because I wouldn’t go down on her after we made love.
Female friend: Did she orgasm?
Guy: Well, no, but I really didn’t want to get my own semen all over my face!
Female friend: She gets your semen all over her face all the time!
–St. Mark’s Pl
Overheard by: agrees with the woman.
Girl: I still don’t understand the definition of emo.
Boy: It’s more emotional than other music.
Girl: Oh, please, everything is emotional. My face? Emotional.
–27th & 3rd
Overheard by: A. Pincus
Guy #1: Dude, you know what I realized? I really miss Allison*.
Guy #2: Yeah?
Guy #1: Yeah. Like, we talk on IM, but I haven’t seen her since the summer, and I was just such a dick at the end, y’know?
Guy #2: Yeah…
Guy #1: I told her we should hang out over break.
Guy #2: Yeah… You wanna get a beer?
Guy #1: Are you even listening?
Guy #2: Yeah. Hey, you want Thai?
Guy #1: Unbelievable. Next time you come crying to me about how the girl in your building has a boyfriend, I’m gonna hang up on you.
Guy #1: This might be the gayest conversation we’ve ever had.
Guy #2: Agreed. Can we go Saki-bombing?
–49th St
Guy: I can’t believe my boyfriend’s little brother still believes in Santa Claus.
Cute girl: Why? How old is he?
Guy: He’s ten.
Cute girl: He should still believe in Santa Claus.
Guy: Well, I knew better by ten.
Cute girl: I didn’t. I didn’t know until I was sixteen.
–Virgin Megastore
Overheard by: Levi
Man: There are always two sides to every conversation.
Woman: Yes, but there’s always a right side and a wrong side.
–34th & 5th
Man, entering diner: … And then I grabbed him and humped him against the wall.
Friend: Yeah, I would’ve done the same thing.
–Crosstown Diner, Bronx
Girl: … So then he was like, ‘Do you think I’m hot?’ and I was thinking, ‘Ewww,’ but instead I was like, ‘You’re cute,’ and he was like, ‘Yeah, I like you, too. You have a nice ass,’ and I was all, ‘Ewww!’
Friend: Oh, yeah! Like, the same thing happened to me!
–Queens College
Young girl with Texan accent #1: What’s Soho?
Young girl with Texan accent #2: Oh, that’s like where they have all the discount shopping places.
–R train
Headline by: dan
Runners-Up:
· “Bush Twins…….Activate!” – stephie
· “In Texas, We Call It Mexico…” – Michael Haigh
· “There’s a Wal-Mart in SoHo?” – Chuckles
· “They Were Disappointed with DUMBO, Too.” – nick
