Hey, Kiss My Wednesday One‐Liners

Drunk guy: Excuse me, Miss, I’m askin’… I want to kiss your ass! Just the left cheek!

–8th Ave & W 55th St

Overheard by: Fred Daubert

Canadian guy: The first kiss’ll be at the altar.

–Uptown 6 train

Loudmouth on cell: Yeah man, and then, like, I was kissing her, and then I like, just started dancing with her. We were dancing, man. And then I picked her up, and she beat the crap out of me, and I had to put her down. Yeah, man. But she was a fuckin’ awesome kisser.

–NYU

Overheard by: lucy in the sky with diamonds

Girl on cell: I can’t remember the last time we kissed on the mouth, can you?

–43rd & Lex

Ghetto chick leaving after fight with boyfriend: Kiss my ass. No, kiss my pussy while it’s bleeding, like you used to.

–Washington Heights

Girl on cell: He said he wouldn’t leave until I kissed him… so I kissed him while I was on the toilet!

–115th St & Manhattan Ave

Overheard by: Melissa Berry