Hoochie, about guy she met on a band trip: He was gorgeous, with a dick as big as my arm! [Notices band class is listening] Oh, my bad.
High school
Utah
Hoochie, about guy she met on a band trip: He was gorgeous, with a dick as big as my arm! [Notices band class is listening] Oh, my bad.
High school
Utah
Hoochie #1: I’m just an attention-whore, not a sex-whore.
Hoochie #2: I think I’m both.
Harvard University
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Meesh
Ghetto lady to two young boys: Stop lookin at my pussy!
20 Bus
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: nightfallcub
Obese John Wayne wannabe: I can’t believe we are not hanging out tonight.
Gap tooth hootchie: I told you I made plans with my friends a month ago!
Obese John Wayne wannabe: Well you’re supposed to be hanging out with me. We never hang out anymore and we are boyfriend and girlfriend!
Gap tooth hootchie: We were supposed to hang out this past Saturday and Sunday but we didn’t! You were not fucking there.
Obese John Wayne wannabe: I had a change of plans!
Gap tooth hootchie: Change of plans?! Muthafucker you were in jail!
Bus
Iowa State University, Iowa
Overheard by: Casey
Hoochie #1: That's why I don't wear panties with tight skirts; I need maximum mass, maximum jiggle.
Hoochie #2: That's also why you always flashin' your business, looking like a ho.
Hoochie #1: So? What you doing up in that club–gettin' drunk? (laughs)
Hollywood, California
Overheard by: Mistopher
Chatty lady: So, did I tell you I was getting married?
Man: That’s great. I’m happy for you.
Chatty lady: Yeah, I’m having a hard time giving up my old boyfriend, though. He really understands the way I like to be dominated in bed. The sex is just sooo good, I’m not sure I can stop seeing him.
Man: Uhhh, yeah, I guess I can understand that.
Chatty lady: Yeah, I guess I’m just in a monogamous relationship with two men.
Birmingham, Alabama
Hoochie to another: Just because you’re a slut doesn’t mean you have dibbs!
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Michelle
Chick deciding between two skanky tops: Well, what’s the difference? I’m just going to get drunk and take it off anyway.
H&M, Briarwood Mall
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Overheard by: Melanie
Hoochie on cell: Yep, I have herpes. Isn’t it awesome?!
University of Chicago
Chicago, Illinois
Hoochie: I understand that you’re worried about me, but I have self-control.
Friend: Do you?
Hoochie: Buying a pair of shoes is different from fucking someone.
Vassar College
Poughkeepsie, New York
