Hoochie #1: I’m just an attention-whore, not a sex-whore.
Hoochie #2: I think I’m both.

Harvard University
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Meesh

Ghetto lady to two young boys: Stop lookin at my pussy!

20 Bus
Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: nightfallcub

Obese John Wayne wannabe: I can’t believe we are not hanging out tonight.
Gap tooth hootchie: I told you I made plans with my friends a month ago!
Obese John Wayne wannabe: Well you’re supposed to be hanging out with me. We never hang out anymore and we are boyfriend and girlfriend!
Gap tooth hootchie: We were supposed to hang out this past Saturday and Sunday but we didn’t! You were not fucking there.
Obese John Wayne wannabe: I had a change of plans!
Gap tooth hootchie: Change of plans?! Muthafucker you were in jail!

Iowa State University, Iowa

Overheard by: Casey

Hoochie #1: That's why I don't wear panties with tight skirts; I need maximum mass, maximum jiggle.
Hoochie #2: That's also why you always flashin' your business, looking like a ho.
Hoochie #1: So? What you doing up in that club–gettin' drunk? (laughs)

Hollywood, California

Overheard by: Mistopher

Chatty lady: So, did I tell you I was getting married?
Man: That’s great. I’m happy for you.
Chatty lady: Yeah, I’m having a hard time giving up my old boyfriend, though. He really understands the way I like to be dominated in bed. The sex is just sooo good, I’m not sure I can stop seeing him.
Man: Uhhh, yeah, I guess I can understand that.
Chatty lady: Yeah, I guess I’m just in a monogamous relationship with two men.

Birmingham, Alabama

Hoochie to another: Just because you’re a slut doesn’t mean you have dibbs!

Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: Michelle

Chick deciding between two skanky tops: Well, what’s the difference? I’m just going to get drunk and take it off anyway.

H&M, Briarwood Mall
Ann Arbor, Michigan

Overheard by: Melanie

Hoochie on cell: Yep, I have herpes. Isn’t it awesome?!

University of Chicago
Chicago, Illinois

Hoochie: I understand that you’re worried about me, but I have self-control.
Friend: Do you?
Hoochie: Buying a pair of shoes is different from fucking someone.

Vassar College
Poughkeepsie, New York

Large black woman on cell: Girl! I’m tellin’ you, I don’t know where I gots them warts on my feets. But they nasty! I don’t want to give them to nobody else, so I brought me some lil’ socks, you know… Them cushy foots? Not like Earl, who goes barefoot all over the city with them mushroom funguses on his toes. His toenails be like baby powder! They all crumbly and shit.

Detroit Metro Airport
Detroit, Michigan

Overheard by: Trying not to barf (and glad I wore socks)