Child: Mommy, look! Do you see that rat?!
Mother: Yes.
Child: Oooh, Mommy, look! Do you see that piece of paper?!
Mother: Yes.
Child: Oooh, Mommy! Can I bite you?!
Mother: Yes.
–PATH
Child: Mommy, look! Do you see that rat?!
Mother: Yes.
Child: Oooh, Mommy, look! Do you see that piece of paper?!
Mother: Yes.
Child: Oooh, Mommy! Can I bite you?!
Mother: Yes.
–PATH
Kid #1, listening to friend’s ringtones: What the fuck is this?
Kid #2: That’s John Mayer! Don’t you know who John Mayer is?
Kid #1: [Stares silently.]Kid #2: John Mayer! He’s huge! [Turns to address rest of train] Don’t you know who John Mayer is? John Mayer is the nigga!
–A train
Little boy: I saw Bambi at Adam’s house, and did you know that Bambi’s mother died?
Black nanny: I didn’t know that. How did she die?
Little boy: She was shot.
Black nanny: Damn. That’s some Compton shit right there.
–83rd & Broadway
Overheard by: flower and thumper were strapped
Woman: Her daddy is a cardiologist. Do you know what a cardiologist does?
Little boy: Yeah, they cut off people’s ears and send them to Australia.
–75th St & Riverside Dr
Overheard by: must be a body part shortage down under
WASP lady: Look, Dylan! We’re in the subway! It’s subterranean — that means we’re going to see those subterranean guys!
Five-year-old: Subterranean guys? Whaaat?!
WASP lady: The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! [Puts scarf over eyes, like a mask.]Five-year-old: Holy shit, my god! Fuck nooo!
–Penn Station
Young boy, pointing at stack of apple danishes: Mom! Mom! I wanna eat a danish!
Mom: Stanley, you can’t eat cheese, and you can’t eat apples. You know this.
Young boy, exasperated: I know! But I can eat danish!
–Washington Ave & Eastern Pkwy, Brooklyn
Overheard by: xander
Little kid: The sss…
Mother: The Sneetches.
Little kid: Sneetches and uhhh…
Mother: Other.
Little kid: Other sss…
Mother: Stories by Dr. Seuss.
Little kid: Seuss is dead.
–Outside Babbo’s Books
Little Asian girl: But why?
Mom: I don’t know, honey.
Little Asian girl: But why?
Mom: I just said that I don’t know!
Little Asian girl: But why don’t you know, Mommy?
Mom: Because Mommy’s stupid.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Miranda
Little girl, holding up expensive candle: Oooh! Smell this!
Older sister: Smells like a cheap hooker.
–Urban Outfitters
Overheard by: Emily B.
Little girl: You keep asking me for money! Forty dollars in two days! And then you ask for more!
Mother, laughing nervously: Yeah…
–East-bound M66 bus
Overheard by: Eric
