Teacher: … And you’ll finish up the unit on slavery with a project about a historical figure in the slavery era.
7th grader: Can I do mine on Thomas Jefferson’s baby’s mama?
–University Neighborhood Middle School
Teacher: … And you’ll finish up the unit on slavery with a project about a historical figure in the slavery era.
7th grader: Can I do mine on Thomas Jefferson’s baby’s mama?
–University Neighborhood Middle School
Four-year-old boy to stranger: Do you have a little boy?
30-ish single man: No, not yet.
Four-year-old boy: Why not?
30-ish single man: Because I don’t have a wife yet.
Four-year-old boy: Why not?
30-ish single man: You sound like my mother.
–38th & 2nd
Overheard by: Todd J.
20-ish girl, looking at armoire: You know what we could do with one of these? If you ever have kids and you don’t want to look at them, you can put them in one of these. [Friend laughs hysterically.] Oh my god, I’ve killed you.
–9th floor of Macy’s, Herald Square
Little girl: Daddy, do people have white hair because they’re old?
Dad: Yes. And, in fact, some people like me have almost no hair at all.
–M86 bus, 86th & Lex
Overheard by: Jake
Little girl: You’re like a staircase!
Mother: You’re like a staircase!
Little girl: No, you’re like a staircase!
Mother: How am I like a staircase?
Little girl: Turn around, and be like a staircase!
–11th & 4th
Overheard by: tj
Nine-year-old boy: Would you rather be naked in public or in front of a hundred boys? Including me…
Nine-year-old girl: A hundred boys. Would you rather be naked in front of this whole bus or just this back half?
Nine-year-old boy: Just the back half… Wait… You’re in the back half, right?
–M79 crosstown bus, Central Park
Overheard by: Rachel
Black kid #1, about “Benny and the Jets” on radio: Yo, Benny and the Jets, nigga!
Black kid #2, singing in tune: Benny and my balls!
–A train
Little boy: She’s just a freakin’ cheater. That’s all!
Old lady: Don’t call your mother that.
–79th & 2nd
Child: Mommy, look! Do you see that rat?!
Mother: Yes.
Child: Oooh, Mommy, look! Do you see that piece of paper?!
Mother: Yes.
Child: Oooh, Mommy! Can I bite you?!
Mother: Yes.
–PATH
Kid #1, listening to friend’s ringtones: What the fuck is this?
Kid #2: That’s John Mayer! Don’t you know who John Mayer is?
Kid #1: [Stares silently.]Kid #2: John Mayer! He’s huge! [Turns to address rest of train] Don’t you know who John Mayer is? John Mayer is the nigga!
–A train
