Girl: Hew-ston, we have a problem.
Mom: How-ston, honey. Houston, we have a problem.
–NY Animal Control Center
Girl: Hew-ston, we have a problem.
Mom: How-ston, honey. Houston, we have a problem.
–NY Animal Control Center
Little boy: My mom used to go to the doctor because she couldn’t have a baby.
Nanny: Oh, really?
Little boy: Yep. Now, she just goes to the landlord.
–Canal & Broadway
Overheard by: Rhea
Little girl: Do you have a wife?
Hipster: … No…
Little girl: You don’t look like you do.
–DeKalb St & Hall St
Mother: Clarence! Hey, Clarence, have you got my child support check?
Son: Ha, ha! That goat looks like my dad!
–Bronx Zoo
Kid: Do you know what I could really go for?
Mother: What’s that, Sugar?
Kid: Me — in bed!
–125th & Lex
Overheard by: LJers
Girl #1: You mean, your parents never kept you in a cage as a child?
Girl #2: Uh… no.
–110th & Broadway
Little girl: Mommy, where do people go when they’re bad?
Mother: Australia, sweetie, with all the snakes.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Girl from Australia
Little boy: Look, Mommy, that man is dressed up as the UPS man for Halloween!
UPS man: No, this is my life.
–Rockefeller Center Concourse
Overheard by: Micaela
Seven-year-old boy is gently cooing to his three-month-old sister, then suddenly bursts into aggravated yell: You have no intellect!
–Uptown F train
Overheard by: Sam
Mom: What’s the candy situation?
Trick-or-treating child: More! More! More!
–69th & Columbus
