Chick #1: And they smoked pot like crazy!
Little kid: What’s pot?
Chick #2: Who the hell is talking to you? Go fuck yourself.
Kid runs away crying.
Chick #1: Kids today are terrible. Parents need to start beating their kids again.
Chick #2: Word.
–Tompkins Square Park Playground
Tourist mom: Oh my god! Hey, look, it’s an advertisement we know!
Tourist children chanting in unison: Tar-get! Tar-get! Tar-get! Tar-get!
–Times Square
Father: Did you enjoy the movie, Angela?
Six-year-old daughter: Yeah.
Father: Was there lots of action?
Six-year-old daughter: Yeah.
Father: There are two things that make a good movie: action and sex.
–Montague & Clinton St, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: Laura
Girl: Hew-ston, we have a problem.
Mom: How-ston, honey. Houston, we have a problem.
–NY Animal Control Center
Little boy: My mom used to go to the doctor because she couldn’t have a baby.
Nanny: Oh, really?
Little boy: Yep. Now, she just goes to the landlord.
–Canal & Broadway
Overheard by: Rhea
Little girl: Do you have a wife?
Hipster: … No…
Little girl: You don’t look like you do.
–DeKalb St & Hall St
Mother: Clarence! Hey, Clarence, have you got my child support check?
Son: Ha, ha! That goat looks like my dad!
–Bronx Zoo
Kid: Do you know what I could really go for?
Mother: What’s that, Sugar?
Kid: Me — in bed!
–125th & Lex
Overheard by: LJers
Girl #1: You mean, your parents never kept you in a cage as a child?
Girl #2: Uh… no.
–110th & Broadway
Little girl: Mommy, where do people go when they’re bad?
Mother: Australia, sweetie, with all the snakes.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Girl from Australia
