Wednesday One-Liners for the Breeders

Father to eight-year-old daughter: Let me put it this way: your opinion has merit, but it doesn’t have weight.

–SoHo

Angry mom: What?! We were just in the bathroom — you said, ‘No’! Can you hold it? [Four-year-old son shakes his head.] Augh! What is the matter with you? I am so mad at you right now!

–Columbus Circle

Overheard by: Kyla

Mother pushing young child in stroller: Would you do it for a Scooby Snack?

–7th Ave, Park Slope

Overheard by: USY lover

Mother to young son: I would love to know how this obsession with canned peaches got started.

–M102 bus

Nanny to four-year-old: Heather*, you don’t seem very centered today.

–6th Ave & 13th St

Overheard by: em

Posted on December 20, 2006
All Wednesday One-Liners, Kids, Parents

It’s Why I Wear It

Little girl: Oooh, furry! Mommy, can I pet the pretty, furry lady?
Old lady wearing a pink fur: Don’t worry, I get this all the time.

–47th & 5th

Overheard by: Micaela

Posted on December 19, 2006
Kids, Knock-Offs, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Old People

Get It Right, Mothertrucker

Toddler pointing out window: Fuck, fuck.
Mother: No, that’s ‘truck.’ Tuh-tuh-tuh-truck.
Toddler: Tuh-tuh-tuh-fuck.
Mother: Oh, man.

–Dean & Deluca

Posted on December 16, 2006
Dean & Deluca, Kids, Moms, Words

Little Front-Loader-Riding Motherfucker

Customer #1: Hey, kid! Get the fuck out of there!
Customer #2: Don’t you dare speak to my boy like that!
Customer #1: Why? Does the little bastard not know English?
Customer #2: Shut up.
Customer #1: I guess not.

–Laundry King, Ave A

Overheard by: Usleich

Posted on December 15, 2006
Assholes, Customers, Insults, Kids, Language Barrier

Starting with Yours

Chick #1: And they smoked pot like crazy!
Little kid: What’s pot?
Chick #2: Who the hell is talking to you? Go fuck yourself.

Kid runs away crying.

Chick #1: Kids today are terrible. Parents need to start beating their kids again.
Chick #2: Word.

–Tompkins Square Park Playground

Posted on December 14, 2006
Biotechs, Kids, Parks, Philosophy

Why Bother to Travel Anymore?

Tourist mom: Oh my god! Hey, look, it’s an advertisement we know!
Tourist children chanting in unison: Tar-get! Tar-get! Tar-get! Tar-get!

–Times Square

Posted on December 14, 2006
Kids, Moms, Times Square, Tourists, Travel

If Only Some Genius Could Combine the Two

Father: Did you enjoy the movie, Angela?
Six-year-old daughter: Yeah.
Father: Was there lots of action?
Six-year-old daughter: Yeah.
Father: There are two things that make a good movie: action and sex.

–Montague & Clinton St, Brooklyn Heights

Overheard by: Laura