Guy on cell: Oh, wow, that’s too bad. You know I would help you out if I were in New York. I am on the West Coast, I flew out yesterday, I am standing on Rodeo Drive.

–73rd & 3rd

Barista guy: You can’t bring that dog in here.
Dude: What kind of coffee do you have today?
Barista guy: I’m not telling you what kind of coffee we have until you get that dog out of here.
Dude: No really, what kind of coffee do you have today?
Barista guy: Is that a working dog?
Dude: Yeah…
Barista guy: Are you blind?
Dude: Yeah…

–Starbucks, 47th & 3rd

Overheard by: Cait

Suit: I mean, I felt like a complete idiot. I had no idea. You go to the Met and they’ll just give you a wheelchair. All this time I’ve been walking around the damn place! You don’t even have to have a note saying you’re handicapped or something.

–2nd Avenue & 13th Street

Hobo: Help me! I have 9 starving kids at home!
Suit: Yesterday you had 12 starving kids, what happened?
Hobo: That’s right and the 2 of them died in a horrible fire yesterday! Please help me!
Suit: What happened to the 12th?
Hobo: Man, get the fuck outta here, you’re fucking up my rap!

–57th Street station