Hobo, carrying huge duffel bag: I need money to get to Boston to visit my son. Can anyone give me money?
Lady: Here’s 20 dollars for your ticket. Also, do you think you could run upstairs and get me a Snapple?
Hobo: Sure, lady. Thanks so much.
Hobo ditches duffel bag.
Lady, 20 minutes later: Well, I guess he’s not coming back!
–Port Authority
Overheard by: cynic
Guy on cell: …I’m fine, really. It was not a good time to come to London, though. The police are all running around looking worried. I should be back in New York in a few days.
–Duane Reade, Broadway & 84th
Overheard by: kenny
Middle-school boy: Yeah, you’re a pathological liar.
Middle-school girl: What do you mean? When have I lied to you? I never lie. I only lie to my therapist.
–1 train
Overheard by: cate
Chick: I’m European. Europeans don’t wait on line — this is bull. [Two hours later, to bathroom attendant] Yeah, well, I was born and raised in Queens, so I guess that’s why I’m so outspoken.
–Crobar
Overheard by: Ioulia Fedorova
Guy: Yeah, and he lied to me about dying, too!
–Bedford Ave, Brooklyn
Girl: So what is your name going to be tonight?
–6th Ave & 57th St
Queer on cell: She tried to tell me that I was fatter than him — that muthafucka is the worst liar in the world!
–Grand Central Terminal
Overheard by: She was probably right…
Guy: I just told her, ‘Keep on fakin’ those orgasms!’
–7th Ave & 32nd St
Suit on cell in McDonald’s: Yeah, well, I’m in Connecticut right now…
–Astoria, Queens
Overheard by: Blaine
Conductor: There’s another local train directly behind this one. I would never lie to you.
–W train to Astoria
Overheard by: MissPinkKate
Man exiting taxi: If anyone asks, we walked!
–Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Kyle
Man on cell: I’ll be in Fort Lauderdale in 2 hours, wait for me.
–34th & 8th
Automated voice on PA: Register Nine.
Toddler: Whoa! What was that?
Mom: That’s the voice of God telling you what to do.
Automated voice: Register Four.
Mom: See, there it is again. You better listen.
–Whole Foods, Houston
Overheard by: Alienswede
Little girl: Mommy, can you please get me a balloon?
Mother: I’m sorry dear, but they don’t make them anymore.
–14th Street & 8th Avenue
Overheard by: cyrus forman
Lady: Yeah, we’re getting married this Saturday.
Businesswoman #1: Oh my gosh! You’re getting married? Where’s the ring?
Businesswoman #2: I want to see the ring!
Lady: Actually I’m wearing a wedding band because we really got married in January.
–Times Square
Overheard by: kim n.
Girl #1: People used to tell me that they took “gullible” out of the dictionary ’cause it was an ancient slang term and didn’t have a language of origin.
Girl #2: Oh, so like “gullibleae”?
–6 train
Overheard by: David Stein
