Middle-school boy: Yeah, you’re a pathological liar.
Middle-school girl: What do you mean? When have I lied to you? I never lie. I only lie to my therapist.

–1 train

Overheard by: cate

Chick: I’m European. Europeans don’t wait on line — this is bull. [Two hours later, to bathroom attendant] Yeah, well, I was born and raised in Queens, so I guess that’s why I’m so outspoken.


Overheard by: Ioulia Fedorova

Guy: Yeah, and he lied to me about dying, too!

–Bedford Ave, Brooklyn

Girl: So what is your name going to be tonight?

–6th Ave & 57th St

Queer on cell: She tried to tell me that I was fatter than him — that muthafucka is the worst liar in the world!

–Grand Central Terminal

Overheard by: She was probably right…

Guy: I just told her, ‘Keep on fakin’ those orgasms!’

–7th Ave & 32nd St

Suit on cell in McDonald’s: Yeah, well, I’m in Connecticut right now…

–Astoria, Queens

Overheard by: Blaine

Conductor: There’s another local train directly behind this one. I would never lie to you.

–W train to Astoria

Overheard by: MissPinkKate

Man exiting taxi: If anyone asks, we walked!

–Lincoln Center

Overheard by: Kyle

Man on cell: I’ll be in Fort Lauderdale in 2 hours, wait for me.

–34th & 8th

Automated voice on PA: Register Nine.
Toddler: Whoa! What was that?
Mom: That’s the voice of God telling you what to do.
Automated voice: Register Four.
Mom: See, there it is again. You better listen.

–Whole Foods, Houston

Overheard by: Alienswede

Little girl: Mommy, can you please get me a balloon?
Mother: I’m sorry dear, but they don’t make them anymore.

–14th Street & 8th Avenue

Overheard by: cyrus forman

Lady: Yeah, we’re getting married this Saturday.
Businesswoman #1: Oh my gosh! You’re getting married? Where’s the ring?
Businesswoman #2: I want to see the ring!
Lady: Actually I’m wearing a wedding band because we really got married in January.

–Times Square

Overheard by: kim n.

Girl #1: People used to tell me that they took “gullible” out of the dictionary ’cause it was an ancient slang term and didn’t have a language of origin.
Girl #2: Oh, so like “gullibleae”?

–6 train

Overheard by: David Stein

Bag lady: Ladies and gentlemen, my husband and I are homeless. We can’t stay at our shelter during the day so we come on the train to get food. Today we are asking for money so we can do laundry. Anything you can give will help.
Hobo: Why don’t you just admit that you’re gonna buy crack? I’m in the same line of work, don’t believe her.

–N train

Girl: What time is it, 5:30? I’m not even supposed to be out.
Guy: Why not?
Girl: Because I’m in Milan!

–23rd St & Park Ave

Overheard by: Sara