David Lee Roth: Hey, kid, you want a ticket to Van Halen?
20-something: Sure, sounds good.
David Lee Roth: Psych! Get the fuck out of here, kid.
Bouncer, to 20-something: You know that was David Lee Roth, right?
20-something, turning to David Lee Roth: Holy shit, you’re the guy from the Adam Sandler song!
–Outside Scores, 60th & 1st
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
WASP lady: Look, Dylan! We’re in the subway! It’s subterranean — that means we’re going to see those subterranean guys!
Five-year-old: Subterranean guys? Whaaat?!
WASP lady: The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! [Puts scarf over eyes, like a mask.]Five-year-old: Holy shit, my god! Fuck nooo!
–Penn Station
Father buying lightsaber: Just drop it! He wanted this one!
Mother: But it’s the dark side! You’re not supposed to join the dark side!
–Toys “R” Us
Hobo: Why did Freddy kill Martin Luther King, Jr.? Because he had a dream!
Suit: It doesn’t get much better than this.
–1 train
Overheard by: okredtrain
Chubby chick #1: Oh my god, you know who I look like and who I sound like? I saw like this really, really old CD of Barbara Cook, and she’s so much fatter than me, but we sing exactly alike! [Sings.]Chubby chick #2: I don’t really think I look like anybody. That’s not true — I look like a Gummi Bear.
–Starbucks, 52nd & Lex
Teen daughter: I love the city. I can easily live here.
Mom: You don’t know anything about this city. Keep walking.
Teen daughter: Mom, I know enough. I drink Starbucks and loved Sex and the City.
–31st & 7th
Nine-year-old boy #1 looking at mannequin in sex shop: Batman! B
Nine-year-old boy #2: Batman — that’s so cool!
Nine-year-old boy #1: Bat-maaan! Bat-maaan!
–Orchard & Rivington
Overheard by: Amanda
Man, about others yelling in street: Yo! This is just like reality TV, man!
Passerby: You mean reality is?
Man: Uh…
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Maggie
Queer #1: In Japan they have all these boy bands, and they all come out of this, like, big boy band academy. It’s like a school.
Queer #2: God. Wouldn’t it be great if they gave tours?
Queer #1: We could Google it.
–R train
Guy to cooks: So, do you guys just sit around all night making up medieval names for each other?
–Pizza shop, 2nd Ave & St. Mark’s Pl
Overheard by: mangledorf
Nerd on cell: I waited five years to get a girlfriend, and I finally got one and I just couldn’t take it!
–Dunkin’ Donuts, 14th St
Overheard by: Jo
Chick on cell: Whoa, did I just refer to Voldemort in a romantic context? What is happening to me?
–Harlem
Overheard by: Ladle
Dork: Wow, 200 points of magic! Well, that would truly be a day of sorcery.
–LIRR
NYU student: So, Yoda is more masculine than Sophocles?
–NYU
Overheard by: waphle
