Chick #1: So, what are you going to talk about?
Chick #2: What’s there to talk about? The weather? Craigslist prostitution? That’s all I have on my mind these days.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: gotta love those elevator convos
Chick #1: So, what are you going to talk about?
Chick #2: What’s there to talk about? The weather? Craigslist prostitution? That’s all I have on my mind these days.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: gotta love those elevator convos
Blonde girl: He’s really good-looking, but he’s Jewish. You know, like a Jewish Jew.
Friend: Oh, yeah, totally. That sucks. That wouldn’t work for you at all. God, why are all the good-looking men around here Jewish Jews?
–NYU
Overheard by: Cpt. Kate
Health services assistant: Can I help you?
20-something male: Yeah, okay. See, so I woke up in a hospital this morning, and I have no idea how I got there, and I can’t find my Columbia ID card and so I can’t get back in the dorm.
Health services assistant: Um…
20-something male: My wallet had everything left in it except my ID card. I asked all over the hospital and no one knows where my ID card is. I asked everywhere.
Health services manager: Which hospital? St. Vincent’s?
20-something male: Yeah, St. Vincent’s.
Health services manager: Do you know who brought you there?
20-something male: No, I have no idea how I got there.
Health services manager: Um… So how can I help you?
20-something male: How can I find my ID card?
Health services manager: Maybe check with the Lost and Found at the hospital, or go to ID services and see if someone turned it in.
20-something male: Okay. Thanks. Bye.
–Columbia University Urgent Care Clinic
Barnard girl #1: Wait, so he broke up with you? What a jerk!
Barnard girl #2: I know, but whatever — it’s his loss.
Barnard girl #1: But did he even tell you why? What a piece of shit.
Barnard girl #2: Well, no. But I think it had something to do with me not liking guys or the fact that I slept with his sister, but he didn’t tell why, exactly.
Barnard girl #1: Um, yeah, okay then.
–118th & Lex
NYU girl #1: It’s almost like… a pseudo-lesbian crush… I mean, I don’t wanna touch her or anything.
NYU girl #2: Yeah, I don’t wanna touch her, I just…
NYU girl #1: I just, like, want her to lay in my bed with me and tell stories.
–Washington Square Park
Chick: I think James* hit on me but I’m scared because I don’t know what his orientation is.
Dude: He’s Caucasian.
–Pace University
NYU student: What’s on that pizza?
Dining hall employee: Meat.
NYU student: What?
Dining hall employee: And tomato.
NYU student: Chicken?
Dining hall employee: No, tomato. Tomato!
NYU student: Yeah, but what’s the meat?
Dining hall employee: Meat.
NYU student: What kind of meat?
Dining hall employee: Meat. I don’t know. Meatloaf.
–NYU Dining Hall
Overheard by: sjhaughty
Substitute teacher: How do you spell ‘attendance’?
Student: Oh, why? Are you doing a crossword puzzle?
Substitute teacher: I’m taking attendance; what the fuck do you think I’m doing?
–Stuyvesant High School
Overheard by: Never Missed a Class
NYU student #1: I think our degrees will definitely appreciate in value over our lifetimes.
NYU student #2: Yeah, dude, especially when the rest of the world is destroyed and New York becomes Mega City One.
–Juan MacLean concert, Union Square
Overheard by: deke shearon
Student: I don’t know why, but I’ve been thinking about this a lot, and maybe you could, like, help me out and clear this up or whatever. So, what about death and stuff?
Philosophy professor: That’s a great segue…
–NYU
