NYU student #1: What’s that song, ‘Walk Like a Man’?
NYU student #2: No, it’s ‘Walk Like an Egyptian.’
NYU student #3: Who sings that?
NYU student #1: Phil Collins.
All three start singing Tarzan theme song.
–Canal & Lafayette
NYU student #1: What’s that song, ‘Walk Like a Man’?
NYU student #2: No, it’s ‘Walk Like an Egyptian.’
NYU student #3: Who sings that?
NYU student #1: Phil Collins.
All three start singing Tarzan theme song.
–Canal & Lafayette
Guy #1 looking at picture of Santa Claus 3: Dude, that’s Aquaman!
Guy #2: No, that’s Jack Frost.
Guy #1: No, it totally looks like Aquaman.
Guy #2: No, it doesn’t!
Guy #1: It’s gotta be him.
Guy #2: Why would Santa Claus be fighting Aquaman? Why the hell would he be fighting Aquaman?
–4th floor Hunter North, Hunter College
Overheard by: Collegiate Cutie
College chick #1: I think I’m bisexual.
College chick #2: What do you mean, ‘think’?
Older guy behind them: What do you mean, ‘bisexual’?
–Express train
Overheard by: Ari
Chick #1: So, what are you going to talk about?
Chick #2: What’s there to talk about? The weather? Craigslist prostitution? That’s all I have on my mind these days.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: gotta love those elevator convos
Blonde girl: He’s really good-looking, but he’s Jewish. You know, like a Jewish Jew.
Friend: Oh, yeah, totally. That sucks. That wouldn’t work for you at all. God, why are all the good-looking men around here Jewish Jews?
–NYU
Overheard by: Cpt. Kate
Health services assistant: Can I help you?
20-something male: Yeah, okay. See, so I woke up in a hospital this morning, and I have no idea how I got there, and I can’t find my Columbia ID card and so I can’t get back in the dorm.
Health services assistant: Um…
20-something male: My wallet had everything left in it except my ID card. I asked all over the hospital and no one knows where my ID card is. I asked everywhere.
Health services manager: Which hospital? St. Vincent’s?
20-something male: Yeah, St. Vincent’s.
Health services manager: Do you know who brought you there?
20-something male: No, I have no idea how I got there.
Health services manager: Um… So how can I help you?
20-something male: How can I find my ID card?
Health services manager: Maybe check with the Lost and Found at the hospital, or go to ID services and see if someone turned it in.
20-something male: Okay. Thanks. Bye.
–Columbia University Urgent Care Clinic
Barnard girl #1: Wait, so he broke up with you? What a jerk!
Barnard girl #2: I know, but whatever — it’s his loss.
Barnard girl #1: But did he even tell you why? What a piece of shit.
Barnard girl #2: Well, no. But I think it had something to do with me not liking guys or the fact that I slept with his sister, but he didn’t tell why, exactly.
Barnard girl #1: Um, yeah, okay then.
–118th & Lex
NYU girl #1: It’s almost like… a pseudo-lesbian crush… I mean, I don’t wanna touch her or anything.
NYU girl #2: Yeah, I don’t wanna touch her, I just…
NYU girl #1: I just, like, want her to lay in my bed with me and tell stories.
–Washington Square Park
Chick: I think James* hit on me but I’m scared because I don’t know what his orientation is.
Dude: He’s Caucasian.
–Pace University
