Teen artiste #1: Wait until you try to put on a play where your only set piece is your band teacher.
Teen artiste #2: Hey, we had a table!
–Kingsborough Community College
Overheard by: Lotte
Teen artiste #1: Wait until you try to put on a play where your only set piece is your band teacher.
Teen artiste #2: Hey, we had a table!
–Kingsborough Community College
Overheard by: Lotte
Teacher: So in Christianity, if you’re good, what do you get when you die?
Ghetto girl #1: Money?
Teacher: No.
Ghetto girl #2: You get to go to heaven.
Teacher: Yes!
Ghetto girl #1: What? Is that a true story?
Ghetto girl #2: No, Tashanda,* that’s religion.
–New Design High School
Overheard by: god
Dude: Man, it was harder to cheat on that test than to just do it!
–23rd & Lex
Overheard by: Lisa
Girl on cell: Yo! I’m in class trying to act all straight, and it’s hard. No, I have a test right now. I took like four o’ that shit. I have to go, my professor’s here.
–John Jay College of Criminal Justice
Overheard by: hannah
JAP: Well, the professor hates me. He only thinks of me as the girl who leaves 20 minutes into his class, and I don’t know how to change it.
–Shun Lee Palace
Overheard by: colette
Student: Shit, my iPod is more important than my classes.
–Borough of Manhattan Community College
Overheard by: Caitl
Hipster teen: He got rejected from community college? He must have written on his essay, ‘I want to prey on Bronx Science kids and mug them.’
–6 train, 68th St
Overheard by: glad they went to private school
NYU chick: No, that can’t be true.
NYU dude: I’m dead serious — I couldn’t make that up!
NYU chick: So, you are honestly telling me that if you don’t wash your ball sack, you will grow cheese?
–10th St, between 5th Ave & University
Eighth grader #1: Dumbledore is dead!
Eighth grader #2: Do you know how cool Dumbledore is? Cool people like that do not die.
–Hunter College High School
Overheard by: nj
Professor: JRR Tolkien wrote an article on Beowulf defending its value as a work of literature.
Female student: Didn’t he write Beowulf, though?
–Fordham University, Rose Hill
Teacher: When did slavery end?
Student: Didn’t it end in like, 1970, when Martin Luther King freed all the blacks?
–Berkeley Carroll School, Park Slope
NYU chick #1: How do we get there?
NYU chick #2: The yellow line!
WASP lady screaming: There’s no yellow line! There are numbers and letters, no colors!
NYU chick #1: God! What a bitch!
WASP lady: Damn straight I’m a bitch! Get the fuck out of town!
–Union Square
Overheard by: um, I agree
Undergrad #1: I think business is, like, so boring.
Undergrad #2: Yeah, well, I think history is, like, so redundant.
–Bathroom, Pace University
Middle school girl #1: Jesus is Jewish!
Middle school boy: No, he isn’t.
Middle school girl #1: Yes, he is!
Middle school girl #2: Of course, he’s not Jewish anymore — he’s dead.
–Rego Park
Overheard by: josh
