Professor pointing at a slide of Andy Warhol’s Elvis and one of a giant mountain: Can anyone tell me what the similarities and differences of these two images are?
Student #1: The Warhol print is completely commercial, while the mountain is very natural.
Professor: Yes, that’s one way to see them. Anyone else?
Student #2: One’s a big rock, and one’s the king of rock.
Professor: I think we can all go home now.
–NYU
Overheard by: Addison
Student #1: Dude, she wasn’t even that fat.
Student #2: If she wasn’t ‘that fat,’ she wouldn’t have picked up and eaten the food after we threw it at her.
–Water polo match, Queens College
Overheard by: Jeff
Teacher: Where was the Battle of Saratoga fought?
Student #1: South America?
Student #2: No, you idiot, it’s in Russia!
–NYC High School
Bimbette #1: My brain hurts. That Chemistry test made me think too much.
Bimbette #2: Well, yeah. I mean, you were using it, and it is the largest muscle in the human body.
Bimbette #1: Oh, right.
Bimbette #2: Wait… Or is it the heart?
Bimbette #1: No, I think your brain is definitely bigger. But who cares, I just want to pop some Advil.
–NYU
Overheard by: Amateur Brain Cardiologist
Guy in BYU tee: Let’s just face it — no one we meet here will be normal.
BYU girl: Yeah, you’re so right.
–Washington Square Park
NYU guy #1: Do you think if the crane falls on us I can get an extension on my midterm?
NYU guy #2: Definitely, man.
–3rd Ave & 14th St
Columbia student: The Third Reich makes me sad.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: McFreaky
Two girls dressed as Marie Antoinette stop to pose for photos.
Effeminate Louis XVI: I say, let them have bush — I’ll eat the cake!
–Houston & 6th Ave
Professor: Sometimes there’s even a box, and the box will have Harriet Tubman in it.
–Silver Center, Washington Square
Crazy guy: Abraham Lincoln is gay! That’s right, gay! Come on, now, I read the papers! You think I don’t read the papers?!
–6 train
Man on cell: I will go down as the biggest fatherfucker in history.
–Wall St & Broadway
Columbia dude to Columbia chick: I’m trying to figure out what the hell God wants me to be. He either wants me to be a doctor or a lawyer — I can’t decide.
–Nussbaum and Wu Bakery and Cafe, 112th & Broadway
Five-year-old girl watching a dog go through airport security: Oh, please God, pleeease don’t let it die!
–JFK
Dude on cell: No, it’s okay, I understand. I’ll see you another time [hangs up]. Yes! I don’t have to go out tonight — his grandma died! There is a god! I’m going home to go to bed.
–Paragon Sports, 18th & Broadway
Overheard by: andrea
Woman: I don’t got no PhD — my degree is from God.
–19th & Broadway
Professor: I’ve heard from students that have taken my exams that they’re generally considered thinking exams. Rather than just have you recite the law, I try to throw questions in there that will make you examine the policies behind it… Yes?
Law student: What would you say the ratio of thinking questions to normal questions is going to be?
Professor: Hmmm… Really, I don’t know if I can answer that. I mean, what to one person would be a thinking-type question, to another might not be, you know? [Same student raises hand again.] Usually I’m reluctant to let a person who asks a question like that ask another question, so let me ask you first — how many of your questions are thinking-type questions?
–Benjamin N. Cardozo School of Law
Dude #1: So it’s 5:30 and it doesn’t start until 7:00. That gives us two and a half hours.
Chick: An hour and a half.
Dude #2: Here’s the former English major telling the med school student how to do math.
–Madison Square Garden
