Girl on first date: I love animals.
Guy on first date: I love animals, too, but I see a snake and I’ll shoot it in the face.
–Union Square
Girl on first date: I love animals.
Guy on first date: I love animals, too, but I see a snake and I’ll shoot it in the face.
–Union Square
Sweaty girl #1: Sometimes I do the poses just a little bit wrong so the instructors will correct me.
Sweaty girl #2: Oh, I know! I’m not a lesbian, but I would let today’s instructor touch me all over!
–Yoga to the People, St. Mark’s Pl
Overheard by: Cooper C
Drunk, nearly toothless hobo #1, putting arms around unsuspecting teens: Nigga, I would like to tell you a story!
Drunk, nearly toothless hobo #2, surprising teens from other side: Listen to his story, nigga. It’s a wonderful story — listen up.
–St. Mark’s Pl & 2nd Ave
Dude: I’m sorry. I feel like I’m talking too much.
Chick: It’s okay — I like to hear you talk.
Dude: Well, I like to hear you listen.
–9th & 2nd
Asian girl: I can’t believe you blocked me from Galen.
Hawaiian boy: Well, he’s bisexual, so it’s fair game to both of us.
Hipster girl: But he asked her first. You totally cock-blocked your fag hag. You can’t cock-block your fag hag!
–12th & 1st
Drunk goth chick to couple making out: Public displays of affection cause cancer!
Man, taking a break: Really?
Drunk goth chick: No. Just jealousy.
–9th & 3rd
Drunk Brit with arm around ugly lady: Oh, Jesus, just walking is making me horny.
–10th & 2nd
Overheard by: emilia
Girlfriend to boyfriend: Your hair is making me horny.
–B train
Overheard by: Janelle
Guy in hoodie: I don’t know — rain gear just doesn’t really turn me on.
–Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Ktg
Loud woman: According to recent research, a nine-month-old fetus can experience an erection.
–Bus to Staten Island
Chick on cell: … And he was, like, rubbing his erection on me, and I was like, ‘Dude, you’re rubbing your erection on me…’
–Fordham University
Lady: What are horny men doing at Build-a-Bear, anyway?
–40th & 5th
Overheard by: don’t wanna know
Mom: Did you go to work today? Did you?!
Child: No!
Mom: Are you bringin’ in the pay checks?! Huh?!
Child, screaming: Mom, no! Aughhh!
–11th & 1st
Overheard by: disconnec
Chick: I had such a hard time when I lived here. People were always calling me a slut. Always, always, always, always.
Guy standing next to her: Yeah?
–Outside the W Hotel, 17th & Park
Overheard by: Will
Girl: Why are you wearing cowboy boots?
Guy walking other way: I just got off work.
Girl, to friend: Did that guy just call me a whore?
–East Village
Overheard by: James Triggs
