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How'd You Know?!
Smoking scenester #1 to another, after seeing toy poodle: Hey, look, that must be one of them dumb city rat dogs.
Girl with poodle to smoking scenester #1: Hey, look, you must be one of those dumb bridge & tunnel cunts.
--11th & 1st
I Thought It Was an Inside Joke Between the Two Of You
Man #1, to dog: See you later, Cody.
Man #2 (dog owner): His name is Toby.
Man #1: But I've been calling him Cody for ten years!
Man #2: I know.
--Hell's Kitchen
Overheard by: M. Blair
Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Boys But Were Afraid to Ask
Guy #1: He wouldn't stop telling me to eat the cactus, so I just broke down and did it.
Guy #2: Wow, what about the needles?
Guy #1: I put it in a blender first, dumbass.
Guy #2: Oh. So what happened?
Guy #1: I drank like three quarters of it and I threw up. A lot. Like "mother of god."
Guy #2: Sheesh, then what?
Guy #1: I passed out for about 9 hours.
Guy #2: Awesome.
Guy #1: Yeah.
--G Train
America, Encapsulated.
Black guy in suit: Gimme a hug!
Black lady: I'll give you a hug once you pay me.
--Lexington Ave & 43rd St
Overheard by: dees
Aren't Fuschists, Like, Nazis?
Defensive blonde: You can't mock my leggings, they're awesome! How dare you?!
Offended brunette: They're fuchsia. How dare you?
--21st St & Park Ave
Overheard by: Sarah R
The Porno Remake Of The Blob Has Something for Everyone
Girl to boyfriend, picking something up: Oh! Titties, a porno! (hands DVD to boy)
Boyfriend, opening case: Ugh, this probably has something gross on it. (thinks) Actually, my hand is sticky.
Girl: Eww! You're right. We have to wash our hands before touching any orifices.
--13th & 8th Ave
Overheard by: libit
Ahem-- The First Rule Of the Dino Show Is "Don't Talk About the Dino Show"
Little boys, watching two torosauruses battling during dinosaur show: Fight! Fight! Fight!
Little boy ringleader: Rip his head off! I came to see some action!
Little boys: Fight! Fight! Fight!
Little boy ringleader: Fascinating! This is fascinating!
--Walking with the Dinosaurs Show, Madison Square Garden
Overheard by: Milna
As Depicted in the Epic Documentary Short Bust-a-Nut
Big guy: I read the other day on the internet that masturbating can really make you retarded.
Clerk: Really? (long pause) Wow!
--Porn Shop, Time Square
Overheard by: carepicha
Um, No
Gay: Where is she?
Girl: She said she was watching Paris Hilton's My New BFF.
Gay: Oh, was that on her twatter?
Girl: You mean Twitter?
--Student Center, NYU
Just Give Me a Minute to Clean Up Here
Male barista: Sorry, we're closed.
20-something girl: Can I get a tea bag to go?
--Café, Washington Square Park
I'm So Proud Of Him
Guy visiting mother at new office: Man...I've been in jail cells bigger than this.
Mother, to coworkers: He really means that.
--Fordham University
Speaking Of the Filth Of Humanity...
Whiny old man: I hate the cold. I get so cold I hafta take a hot shower every night. How 'bout you?
Old woman: Well, Eddy, you're supposed to take showers all the time.
Whiny old man: How about that OJ Simpson?
--B3 Bus
Overheard by: Laura E.
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