Girl #1: Ew, you’re holding on to the bar?
Girl #2: Yeah, I’m holding on to the bar. If I don’t I’ll fall over.
Girl #1: Ew. That is so gross. That’s like the one thing that grosses me out more than anything.
Girl #2: It’s just a bar.
Girl #1: No, you don’t understand. I would rather have someone pee on my face than touch that thing.
–N train
Woman: If I don’t find a guy I want to date within the next year, then I’m going back to school.
–B3 Restaurant, Avenue B
Overheard by: Laura Walker
Waiter: How would you like your hamburger? Medium?
Chick: They come in different sizes?
–Peter McManus, 7th Avenue
Overheard by: djlindee
Girl #1: One time I passed out, then I woke up and was like, “I am on the wrong line for this.” I had to get out and go back the other way!
Girl #2: I’m such a wimp. I take a cab when I get too drunk to know where I’m going.
–Manhattan bound F train
Girl #1: Why is this train going so slow?
Girl #2: …There’s probably traffic.
–7 train
Overheard by: Erica
Girl #1: Isn’t that the Princess Bride?
Girl #2: No, that’s Frankenstein.
Girl #3: That’s not Frankenstein, that’s his wife.
Girl #1: Then who’s the Princess Bride?
Girl #2: Isn’t that the one with the skeletons?
–Ray’s Pizza, St. Mark’s & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: someone who knows there were no skeletons in that one
Dog owner to pup bugging drunk girl: Heel, dog, heel.
Drunk girl’s friend: Oh my god, what if that dog could actually heal you?!
–Outside Plug Uglies
Overheard by: Starkie
Bimbette #1: You know when you think something and then a voice in your head is like, ‘Yeah, yeah, say that out loud! That would be a good thing to say!’ and then you do it and you’re like, ‘Well, that was a mistake…’?
Bimbette #2: Yeah.
Bimbette #1: Yeah, I think I just did that.
–R train
Chick #1: Wow, you’re really good at that!
Chick #2: Eh, I think the trick is to start young.
Chick #3, looking worried: Handjobs?
Chick #2: Uh… No. Using chopsticks.
–New Big Wong Restaurant
Knitting girl, about public speaking professor: She kept telling us we need to watch our diction. Meanwhile, she didn’t even tell us what ‘diction’ was.
Friend: What the hell is diction?
Knitting girl: I don’t even know.
–L platform, 8th Ave
Overheard by: Bethany
