Ghetto girl #1: So I was all, “As if,” and she was all, “Whatever!”
Ghetto girl #2: Yo, dat’s some fucked up shit.
Ghetto girl #1: So when I got home, I totally unfriended her on MySpace.
Ghetto girl #2: I’ma hafta smack dat bitch up, fo’ realz!
Ghetto girl #1: Oh, just unfriend her! She’d hate that even more!

–S train

Overheard by: Joe Jervis

Man: You know my name. What is my name?
Little girl: Daddy.
Man: Then why are you hitting me in the face?

–M14 bus

College girl #1: I was just about to slap that bitch of a bus driver, but then I remembered it’s a federal offense.
College girl #2: Federal? I think it’s only a state offense.
College girl #1: Dammit!

–123rd & Amsterdam

Overheard by: Julia G

Short guy: You owe me money.
Hefty guy: I don’t owe you shit, Goldilocks! Don’t make me fucking slap you.
Short guy: I thought it was Erin Go Bragh, not Erin Go Fuck You Up.

–N train

Drunk Irish guy #1: So what are you ladies doing after this?
Drunk Irish girl #1: More bar hopping.
Drunk Irish guy #2: So you ladies into having some fun tonight?
Drunk Irish girl #2: What do you mean?
Drunk Irish guy #2: We could have one big drunken orgy.
Drunk Irish girl #2: Are you kidding me? Go blow out your ass, stupid.
Drunk Irish guy #2: OK, how about I feel those big tits?
Drunk Irish girl #1: You are an idiot.
Drunk Irish guy #2: Fuck you, you fat bitch.

The guys walk away.

Drunk Irish girl #3: Why did you have to say that for?
Drunk Irish girl #2: He was being a jerk.
Drunk Irish girl #3: But they are cute.
Drunk Irish girl #2: Yeah, you right.

–44th & 8th

Overheard by: kendra

Sort of drunk guy: You’re getting more beer? You can barely walk.
Really drunk guy: That’s no reason to stop drinking.

–Saint Mark’s Place & 3rd Ave.