Christianity

She Must Live in Amsterdam Now

Girl: Santa Claus is from Finland, you know.
Guy #1: Oh yeah?
Girl: Yeah, he’s not from the North Pole like you think he is…I know him, I can ask him about you.
Guy #1: Oh yeah? Well, have I been naughty all these years?
Girl: I don’t know, I’d have to go back and ask him.
Guy #1: Yeah, find out why I haven’t been getting presents all these years.
Guy #2: He’s Jewish.
Woman: Are you from Finland, then?
Girl: Yes.
Woman: Are you Santa Claus’ granddaughter, then?
Girl: Oh yeah, and we’re from the same town in Finland…and he’s not fake, he’s real!

–L train

Overheard by: Kaitie

Lauren Weisberger’s Really Reaching

Dude: Yo did you know that the new Pope wears Prada shoes and Gucci sunglasses?
Chick: Really? Isn’t he not supposed to be vain? Probably all given for free, that lucky fuck.

–6 train

Overheard by: Innocent X

Prince Alberts Ruin Another Ecclesiastical Career

Indian guy: Yo, I never told you I almost became a monk.
White guy: Shut up. You serious?
Indian guy: For real. I was this close. Before I applied for colleges, I checked out what you had to do to become a monk.
White guy: I couldn’t picture you as a monk. You don’t even go to church.
Indian guy: I know, right? I found out that they don’t allow piercings so I never applied.

–6 train

Overheard by: Yasmin Henning

Like Twix, It’s Two for Me, None for You

Tourist woman #1: I’d like to speak to a nun.
Receptionist lady: The nuns don’t talk to the public. You can meet with a priest. He’ll be available in an hour. Is anything wrong?
Tourist woman #1: We were going up for communion and the minister asked my friend if she was Catholic.
Receptionist lady: Is she Catholic?
Tourist woman #2: I’m Methodist. We take communion too.

— St. Patrick’s Cathedral Rectory

Overheard by: Traveler Bill

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