New Jersey guy #1: Dude, I bet Mother Teresa's pussy was like throwing a hot dog down a hallway.
New Jersey guy #2: Is that the bitch from the maple syrup bottle?
New Jersey
Overheard by: Cougar Bear
New Jersey guy #1: Dude, I bet Mother Teresa's pussy was like throwing a hot dog down a hallway.
New Jersey guy #2: Is that the bitch from the maple syrup bottle?
New Jersey
Overheard by: Cougar Bear
Girl #1: Wanna go to bible study with me tonight? It's really fun! It's gonna be at Stubbs and there'll be free bbq.
Girl #2: You're having bible study at a bar?
University of Texas at Austin
Overheard by: Nicole
Frazzled student at exam pick-up room: Where can I find religion?
Exam worker: The Catholic church across the street?
Smith College
Northampton, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Mary
Girl #1: So you got drunk in a church?
Girl #2: Yeah, sort of. There's a bar in the basement.
Girl #1: But isn't that, like, sacrilegious? I mean, isn't slosh one of the seven deadly sins?
Girl #2: Uh, I think you mean “sloth.”
Ronnie's Local
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: LB
Girl, on sex-ed: Well, I went to a Catholic school and as a result I didn't know what a penis was until I got to high school.
Guy: I think these middle school girls need psychotherapy before they need birth control. 11-year-olds shouldn't be having sex.
Girl: Girls? Why just the girls? They're having sex with 11-year-old boys. You need something to stick in there in order to get pregnant.
Professor: Well, it looks like you found out what a penis was.
University of Northern Iowa
Cedar Falls, Iowa
Teenager #1: There's no way for Santa to visit all the houses on earth; that's impossible.
Teenager #2: He doesn't have to visit every house, though. Not everybody celebrates Christmas.
Teenager #1: So? That would be like god saying “Muslims can go fuck themselves, I only watch out for Christians.”
Teenager #3: Some people actually do believe that.
Teenager #2: Yeah, I mean, if they don't celebrate Christmas, then…
Teenager #1: You know, at the speed Santa would need to travel to deliver gifts to all those people, his sleigh would literally catch on fire.
Teenager #2: Dude, see, it works like this…
Teenager #1: No, here's how it works: there's no fucking Santa.
Chino, California
70-year-old professor, about The Exorcist as example of blasphemy: She used a crucifix as a self-mutilating dildo…
Saint Peter's College
Jersey City, New Jersey
Indian guy: Dude…what if Shakespeare was Jesus?
Bellingham, Washington
Short girl #1: Mormons are like, on a mission, you know?
Short girl #2: And they smell bad!
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Savannah
60-something daughter: Mother, your hair looks like crap. You cannot wear your hair like that on Easter.
80-something mother: I do not give a rat's ass what my hair has to do with it. What does Easter have to do with it?
6o-something daughter: Mother! You are going to hell for saying that!
80-something mother: I'm going to hell for saying “Easter”?
60-something daughter: No, mother, for saying “ass”! For saying “ass” on Easter!
80-something mother: Oh, hell, really? Well, most of my family's going to hell anyway, so Easter ass, Easter ass, Easter ass, Easter ass! So, there! Happy?
Grandma's house
Illinois
