(group of black teenagers board the train)
Teenage girl: Goddamn, there are a lot of people on this train.
Middle-aged Mexican woman: How dare you? How dare you! I am a Christian and I will not put up with this. Not on my train. You are disrespecting our Lord and every Christian on this train! God sent his beloved son Jesus down to the earth to save our souls, and I will not put up with hearing you speak against him. I am a Christian and… Nah, I’m just fucking with ‘ya.

–E Train

Overheard by: fusoya

Black woman: Sixteen dollars? That paper better be made out of Jesus's ass.

–Barnes & Noble, Lincoln Center

Overheard by: Emily B.

40-something to friends: And what's going on with the fucking baby Jesus over there?


Guy on cell: In my class, we were talking about how Jesus was a Viking warrior.

–Queens College

Woman, about Matt Lauer and Katie Couric: See, this is why Jesus Christ and the Pharisees didn't get along.

–22nd St & Park Ave

Overheard by: Rachel Peters

Woman on phone on the night before Easter: No, I do not want you at my house right now. (pause) I'm going home to watch The Ten Commandments and read my bible–Jesus is coming back tomorrow!

–B44 Bus

Overheard by: Micah

Drunk high school girl: If Jesus had discovered a cure for dry mouth, he'd be a lot more popular!

–Union Square

Overheard by: Smudge

Young, religious guy: Hey! Do you know Jesus?
Older guy: Of course, I'm Catholic!

–Times Square

Overheard by: Lily F.

NYU girl #1 (singing): “Jingle bells/Jingle bells…”
NYU girl #2: Would you stop singing Christmas music, you're Jewish! Sing “Dreidel, dreidel”!
NYU girl #1: Ewwww.. No, I hate that stupid Jew song!

–Q Train

Tourist girl #1: What’s with all the Jewish people here? Is it a Jewish holiday or something?
Tourist girl #2: Maybe it’s a Mormon thing.

–Ground Zero

Man: Jesus is coming, are you prepared?
Hipster guy: Well, he ain’t getting on this elevator!
Woman: Oh Jesus, who let this nut in the building?

–Elevator, 42nd & Lexington

Overheard by: Cirrus Monk

Child, after hurting himself: Jesus!
Grandma: Oh, no. Don’t say that tonight.
Child: Christ!

–Seder, UWS

Overheard by: bobby bo bobby

Headline by: AL


· “Sawww-eee.” – Sameer

· “All that colorful Yiddish I taught you, and this is the best you can do?” – MB

· “Blasphemy is allah the same to me” – Yugan

· “Either way, it’s still not kosher” – Peter

· “Wait until after we kill him” – bobofthejungle

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Priest: Even the clergy like Project Runway!
Girl: Oh… um, cool.

Project Runway event, Prince St

Overheard by: Fudd

Professor: Why do people take drugs? Because their lives suck. That's right…all of you.

–Manhattan College

Chemistry professor, discussing quantum physics: If you beat on something hard enough, you can get it to do what you want!

–St. John's University, New York City

Property professor, after playing Barbra Streisand's version of "Not While I'm Around": Now, is that the same song as Steven Sondheim's version in Sweeney Todd?? (dreamily) Well, when Barbra Streisand does a song…is it ever the same song?

–St. John's Law School

Overheard by: Cori

Professor: If Obama wins the election, I'll buy you all beer.

–The Cooper Union

Professor: So the way Saint Augustine broke the Lord's commandment not to steal (nobody in class is listening) Was all just his way of honoring the Lord's law, by creating his own. It's sort of like when you have a child that's not allowed to stay up past nine but he knows his parents can stay up as late as they want, so in an act of rebellion he smears his shit all over the walls.


Professor: Now, for your presentations, there is a time limit. If you go over nine minutes, I will cut you. (silent pause) …off.

–City College of New York

Woman: I know why you’re doing this [handing out flyers.] Jew for Jesus: Oh, why?
Woman: Because you’re jealous that we have Christmas and you all want to be able to put up a tree and lights and decorate!


Overheard by: Deborah Olin