Redneck lady: Here's where they stop believing the bible is true. This is where you end up, the ghetto.

Creation Museum
Petersburg, Kentucky

Overheard by: Going to hell

Stoned girl with drink in one hand and cigarette in the other: I’m a fucking Christian, so I know you’re wrong!

Northern Ireland

Dude #1: Saint Nicholas. Isn’t he the evil one?
Dude #2: No, Saint Nick is Santa Claus.
Dude #1: Oh, I must be thinking of John the Baptist.

Overheard by: tim

30-something Catholic to girlfriend: I think I'm giving up masturbation for lent. (long pause) I think I might just give up masturbation.

Norman, Oklahoma

Mother to eldest daughter: You can come have sushi with us for lunch on Sunday, but only if you go to mass with us too.
Eldest daughter: I don't think Jesus would approve.
Mother: It's fine. Jesus loved sushi.

Yorktown Heights, New York

Overheard by: Monty

Kid-faced guy in suit on cell: Yeah, and then those malicious evildoers told me I shouldn't be there. (pause) They were the minions of the Antichrist. (pause) I'm serious, dammit!

King of Prussia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Carrie

Middle aged woman to another: I swear, they're going to make us work till we're Protestant!


Bearded old hobo: Heyyy, Cinderella.
Teenage girl: Um… hi!
Bearded old hobo: Want me to read the bible to ya?
Teenage girl: No thanks, I'm good.
Bearded old hobo: I know you are. (winks)

Outside Christian Science Reading Room
Boston, Massachusetts

Stoner girl #1: What happens at Christian retreats?
Stoner girl #2: You pray and reflect.
Stoner girl #1: Oh. So no beer, then?
Stoner girl #2: Definitely no beer.

Jersey City, New Jersey

Waitress: Do you all need anything else?
Black guy: Do ya'll have some salvation back there in the kitchen?
Black girl: Are you for real? You makin' me laugh so much I'm gonna need a bucket, ya'll got a bucket back there too?

Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Deanna Gustav