I Told Her to Teach Them to Love Me, or She’s Fired

Distraught lady: [Sighs] I had the worst night last night.
Suit: What happened?
Distraught lady: [Sighs again, loudly] The kids. Tommy* just wouldn’t stop crying. He was bawling all night.
Suit: Why?
Distraught lady: He kept saying he wanted to go home! He wouldn’t be happy until we were home! So I said, *Tommy, you are home, what do you mean? Explain what you mean by “home.” and then he said he meant home with Isabel, Xander, and Rosa. The nanny!
Suit: Oh my god! So where are they now?
Lady: Out with the nanny, I couldn’t handle them right now.

–Laight St & Hudson

Overheard by: KidUgly

Posted on May 15, 2008
Crying, Default, Gripes, Home, Sweet Home, Questions, Should've Used a Condom, Suits, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

Guess We’re Not Eating Today, Huh?

Six-year-old boy: I’m excited! Pizza, pizza, pizza!
Father: How do you spell “pizza”?
Six-year-old boy: P…I… Z… Z… O?
Father: Close, son. Try again.
Six-year-old boy: F?
Father: No…
Six-year-old boy: Q? G? L? [starting to cry.] I just don’t know!

–110th & Broadway

Posted on April 11, 2008
Boys, Crying, Dads, Education, Kids, Offers and requests, Parents, Questions, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Words

I Realized Its Head Writer Is a Semi-Retarded Chimp

Large thug #1: Yo, man, I cry!
Large thug #2: When you cry last?
Large thug #1: Like, two weeks ago.
Large thug #2: Oh, yeah? What you cry over?
Large thug #1: There was a sad part of Desperate Housewives.

–54th & Broadway

Overheard by: nyparker

Posted on January 13, 2008
Crying, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Thugs

There’s No Wednesday One-Liners in Baseball!

Flustered waiter: What was I doing? What was I doing?! Oh, that’s right — crying about how my life turned out.

–Rachel’s Restaurant

Mets fan: Yeah, man, my family is really competitive when it comes to sports, so last weekend we all went skiing. At the end of the day, it’s really a family bonding experience, so it’s good if we laugh at each other. If we make each other cry, that’s even better!

–Shea Stadium

Drug dealer to crying girl: Don’t cry. Buy some weed.

–Christopher St, between Bleecker & Hudson

Chubby girl, excitedly: Exactly two months ago at this time, I was crying in a bathroom!

–L platform, Lorimer.

Overheard by: einladle

Stoner: If by crying you mean ‘ice cream and ecstasy,’ then yeah.

–9th & 3rd

Overheard by: Ryan H