Glenn Close: Now That's Crazy

Black woman: Girl, I be crazy!
Friend: I know!
Black woman: I mean, that nigga break up with me, and I just start in with the rip-rip-rip, and I tore up his clothes, and his furs, right?
Friend: Right!
Black woman: And then he come home, and that nigga be cryin'! And I'm like, “No furs, no car, no nothin! You thought it was over? Now it's over!”
Friend: Yeah!
Black woman: And he can't do nothin' to me–I'll have his ass thrown in jail, you know. And then get him ass-raped.
Friend: What?
Black woman: Yeah, my dad's in prison. How about that, nigga? I put your ass in jail, then I get you ass-raped!
Friend: You are one crazy bitch!
Black woman: You know it! All right honey, here's the subway, gotta go, love you!

–4 Train

Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster

Posted on June 29, 2009
Ass, Black People, Breaking Up, Cars and Driving, Clothing, Crying, Friends, On the Subway, Parents, Prison, Rape, Threats, Violence, Weirdness, Women

Americans Think TV's the Answer to Everything

Pretty young woman #1: It was an accident…
Pretty young woman #2, yelling: You threw a fucking television at me, while I was crying over my dead chinchilla! I was grieving! How could you?

–Ghandi Resteraunt, 1st Ave

Overheard by: Danielle Lenore

Posted on June 27, 2009
Accidents, Animals & Nature, Crying, Death, Restaurants & Cafes, Violence, Weirdness, Women

A Long Time Ago, Baby. Now Fuck Off.

White man: You going to church too?
Black woman: Yes.
White man: You know, I just started crying last week at service. It is so powerful.
Black woman: I know.
White man: I mean, our next President will be the last President before the Antichrist comes. Are you ready to be saved?

–Foster Ave & Marlborough Rd, Brooklyn

Posted on June 22, 2009
Black People, Brooklyn, Christianity, Church, Crying, God Squad, President, Questions, Weirdness, White People

Not Another Teen Wednesday One-Liner

High school girl: She banged some dude with no condom during her period, then she blew another guy after the basketball game.

–Panera, Queens

Overheard by: NBG1

Teen: My health teacher always yells at me for being late. Shouldn't she be, like, sustaining my self-esteem?

–Green Apple Cafe

Overheard by: Julie

Hippie teenager leaving bathroom: When I see you all later, I will not have any idea who the hell you are!

–Nokia Theater, Times Square

Overheard by: dan

Teenage girl to cute guy, after spitting on door window: I have a bad habit of spittin'.

–E Train

Overheard by: MrsBall

Teenager to crying little brother: Shut up! Stop it or I'll take away your ShamWow!

–Times Square

Overheard by: JYC

Teenage boy on cell: I won't cock-block! (pause) I won't cock-block!

–E 77th St & 1st Ave

Overheard by: Steve G

Posted on June 17, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brothers, Cleanliness, Condoms, Crying, Girls, Guys, Hippies, Hook Ups, Menstruation, On Cell, On the Subway, Penis, Psychology, Queens, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, School and studying, Smegma, Sorority Girls, Sports, Street, Stupidity, Teens, Theater, Threats, Time, Times Square, Upper East Side, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Like When He Was 2 and He Still Didn't Know About Santa

Hot nerdy girl: Like that one time when I was 11, and I got in trouble for telling Kevin that there's bacteria in yogurt and he started crying. Like, ugh, its not my fault you raised him to be so oblivious.
Hipster friend: Yeah, he was like 6 or something, he shoulda known dat shit by then.

–66th St & Broadway

Overheard by: Robert

Posted on May 24, 2009
Age/Aging, Crying, Education, Food, Friends, Hipsters, Kids, Nerds, Science, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Are You Saying They're Bad News and Full Of Splooge?

Stressed woman, on the verge of tears: She thinks because she's fourteen she can come home whenever she wants and treat me however she wants!
Male friend: Kids are young, dumb, and full of cum!
Stressed woman: True, dat.

–E Train

Overheard by: Luis

Posted on May 18, 2009
Age/Aging, Crying, Cum, Friends, Kids, On the Subway, Parents, Stupidity, Weirdness, Women

Nobody's More Bitter Than Ex-Gymnasts

Young girl: How old are you?
22 year-old girl: I'm 22.
Young girl: And you're pregnant!
22 year-old girl: No I'm not.
Young girl: Why do you have a big belly then?
22 year-old girl: Well you know, when you're my age, hormonal and stuff, you'll get fat. People will think you're pregnant when you're not, and you'll cry. So you'll eat tons of salads to make the belly disappear but it won't work and you'll be sad. That's all life's about. Don't grow up.

–A Train

Overheard by: Violette

Posted on April 23, 2009
Age/Aging, Body Parts, Crying, Diet/Weight, Girls, Kids, On the Subway, Physical appearance, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Should've Used a Condom, Vegetarian & Vegan

Then Who'll Be the Catcher?

British guy: But whenever I give a pitch I cry like a little girl!
Girl: That's why you have to practice with someone who is better than you at pitching!

–New York Film Academy, Union Square

Posted on April 18, 2009
Advice, Brits, College, Compare/Contrast, Crying, Girls, Guys, Sex, Sports, Union Square and East Village

Isn't It Bad Luck to Talk About Tied Tubes in the Subway?

Baby: Waaaaahhhhh!
Woman: That's it. I'm officially getting my tubes tied.

–L Train

Posted on February 10, 2009
Crying, Kids, On the Subway, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Should've Used a Condom, Women

As Required by the Hag Code's Minimum Sentencing Guidelines

Girl: So you fucked my ex?
Gay guy: I'm sorry, I was wasted! (starts crying)
Girl: He was mine, dammit! We're definitely not shopping tomorrow.

–Union Square

Posted on February 6, 2009
Anger Management, Apologies, Crying, Girls, Queer guys, Questions, Sex, Shopping, Union Square and East Village

Crying