Brit Businessman: I hate having to eat. Because you eat and you just feel like a fattie.
Brit Businesswoman: I haven’t eaten.
Brit Businessman: You haven’t eaten?
Brit Businesswoman: Well, I had breakfast and then lunch.
–57th and Park
Overheard by: Heather
Idiot: Happiness is a sandwich.
–Quizno’s, 14th Street
Businesswoman: It was almost like something I invented, although the restaurant did have that dish. But other restaurants didn’t have it!
–Midtown office
On Hastings Avenue in Vancouver, there is a restaurant called the “New York Bistro Grill.” The first and most prominent item on their menu reads:
“New York Burger – baby shrimps, cream cheese, and guacamole”
An older woman, ordering very slowly at a Starbucks in Vancouver, “should I get the large or the medium, oh I don’t know, I’m not really sure how thirsty I am…. ”
She then turns to the six people waiting online behind her, including your correspondent, and says, “I know I’m going slowly, so you all can go in front of me”
To which everyone else waiting on line behind her says in unison, “no, take your time” and “it’s okay, don’t worry about it” and “we’re not in a rush”
Waitress: How do you want your burgers cooked?
Foreigner: Cooked?
Waitress: Meat is cooked. What color do you want the meat inside to be? Pink, red, brown?
Foreigner: What?!
–Jackson Hole, 36th Street
Patron: What kind of sauce is on the linguine alla marinara?
–Olive Garden, Chelsea
Overheard by: Brad Palmertree
Woman: Having sex with him was the same as eating a slice of plain Wonder bread while looking in the window of a Crate and Barrel.
–York & 70th
Chubby Chick: Dude, I missed your set because I was hungry!
–Opaline, Ave. A
An old lady is crossing the street with a small dachshund. As they approach Gray’s Papaya, the woman looks down and asks: Jimmy, did you say you wanted a hot dog?
–72nd & Broadway
Overheard by: Jonathan
