A couple of black kids are pushing around a Hispanic kid, who is holding a spoon covered in chocolate pudding for some reason.
Black Kid: Wipe that shit off, nigger. Wipe it off!
–14th St. & 1st Ave.
A couple of black kids are pushing around a Hispanic kid, who is holding a spoon covered in chocolate pudding for some reason.
Black Kid: Wipe that shit off, nigger. Wipe it off!
–14th St. & 1st Ave.
A group of punks walk by the Hellenic Steaks restaurant.
Punk: This restaurant is perfect for me: I love steak, and I love Satan!
–Astoria
Chick: Remember when I got drunk off that cake?…Kate was there, too, but she has better tolerance and I was skinnier then, too.
–Magnolia Bakery, Bleecker Street
Overheard by: alice ayers
Brit Businessman: I hate having to eat. Because you eat and you just feel like a fattie.
Brit Businesswoman: I haven’t eaten.
Brit Businessman: You haven’t eaten?
Brit Businesswoman: Well, I had breakfast and then lunch.
–57th and Park
Overheard by: Heather
Idiot: Happiness is a sandwich.
–Quizno’s, 14th Street
Businesswoman: It was almost like something I invented, although the restaurant did have that dish. But other restaurants didn’t have it!
–Midtown office
On Hastings Avenue in Vancouver, there is a restaurant called the “New York Bistro Grill.” The first and most prominent item on their menu reads:
“New York Burger – baby shrimps, cream cheese, and guacamole”
An older woman, ordering very slowly at a Starbucks in Vancouver, “should I get the large or the medium, oh I don’t know, I’m not really sure how thirsty I am…. ”
She then turns to the six people waiting online behind her, including your correspondent, and says, “I know I’m going slowly, so you all can go in front of me”
To which everyone else waiting on line behind her says in unison, “no, take your time” and “it’s okay, don’t worry about it” and “we’re not in a rush”
Waitress: How do you want your burgers cooked?
Foreigner: Cooked?
Waitress: Meat is cooked. What color do you want the meat inside to be? Pink, red, brown?
Foreigner: What?!
–Jackson Hole, 36th Street
Patron: What kind of sauce is on the linguine alla marinara?
–Olive Garden, Chelsea
Overheard by: Brad Palmertree
